01-18-2012, 11:58 AM
Join Date: Dec 2011
| | Re: Help Me Grow A Backbone
Originally Posted by proudwidaddy
@ WhyinSC those words hit me somewhere in the heart today that I can't put into words. You've filled my heart & soul with warmth, thank you.
I just realize that right now what I miss the most is the companionship of the other person. But when I get lonely, I think about my kids, my god, my friends, and I know that while the path I'm taking is filled with more heartache than my soon to be ex's, the rewards in the end will be worth it all.
Glad that helps. Here is a little more...
Companionship you say? Guess what? You are your companion. Talk to yourself. Really do it. Just sit there and vocally tell yourself (your little boy inside) that you don't need anyone or anything to make you feel good. Tell yourself that you tried as best as you could and SHE failed YOU not the other way around. She was not strong enough to continue but that it's ok, she's just not ever going to be what you need. How do you know that that statement is true? Because if she were what you needed God/Fate/Destiny or whatever would have made her stay. What God/Fate/Destiny is trying to tell you right now is that you are GUILTY of being weak and loosing your path and identity. You are being shown the new path to making yourself stronger and more worthy of a happy life. Never doubt this. The more you try to resist it and wish it away the worse it's going to get until you finally cave in and do what is right for you. This could take you a month to realize this or it can take you 8 months like my sorry a$$. Once I gave up and focused on me everything changed overnight! Everything you do from here on out does one of two things. It either builds you or it destroys you. As much as it hurts, you need to pick "building". Is sitting around crying about this one woman not wanting you a "building" experience? No. Guess what? There are about 25 million women out there that don't want you either. So what? Doesn't mean crap right? So what if you tried your best with this one woman, gave her everything you could, and SHE ended up not worthy of your efforts? Keep "wishing" for her to change and put the power in her hands OR start talking to yourself in a positive tone about how great you are, how loving you are, how much you are worth to yourself and the good people you meet? You tell me...which one is a Building experience?
She's over man. Be good to yourself. Be the best friend you ever had. Forget the people that fail you. You will never fail you. Put your eggs in that basket.
And btw, your ex will feel the pain one day as well. This is all about growing and self discovery - which is almost always painful! Her pain should not make you feel better though. You should feel good that at least you are starting your journey first... you'll be done way before she ever knows who she is.
Last edited by WhyinSC; 01-18-2012 at 12:03 PM.