I had a previous post about my marriage that is falling apart. Discovered affair in 2015 that my wife had, which she admits was a huge mistake. She decided to have another one (don't know exact start date) but had sex in January and is now pregnant, despite doctors telling her she can't be pregnant. I didn't think my wife had much repentance about it but it appears to be sinking in. The shame and embarrassment of her decision will be an issue since now the pregnancy is public proof of what happened. I think getting pregnant was karma telling her to stop messing around and get focused again. The other guy is at least 10 years older than me and has other kids. She said he didn't want to be mixed up in affair either but he still did. I lost a lot of trust for my wife and she lost respect for me as a husband. It may sound strange but I hope this guy is a good guy and will take care of her. Her and I have our own son and he will be staying with her most of the time. The last thing I need is her to do deeper into depression.
What I had a hard time understanding is why she is so sad. She had one affair that she said was a huge mistake, but this one was more calculated since she was also planning to leave me as well this time. She said a lot of things that she never had to think about before (such as paying all of her own bills) is weighing on her. And I think the pregnancy is more of a cause of her sadness than actually leaving the marriage. She is sad that her marriage did not survive but I don't think she is sad about being apart from me in particular. She wanted more kids in the past but I didn't, and I know she didn't want kids this way. Should have made the guy wear a condom instead of relying on pills. But now I am concerned that her health issues will make this pregnancy difficult. She had issues with the first one too.
My soul isn't crushed since the marriage has been dying for a long time. We met in college and our opposite personalities attracted each other, but didn't work well in marriage. I am not sure how opposites can enjoy a marriage. Being married to her taught me some good lessons and exposed me to more areas that life has to offer, but I also learned that I need someone more like myself to be in a successful marriage. I have my own issues to work on but with my wife it became apparent after a few years that we didn't have a friendship outside of being married with a child. I can't remember the last time my wife actually asked me to spend time with her on a date or to just go out as a couple. After the initial romance wore off, we had no strong friendship to build on and we share almost no common interests anymore
Financially, the good thing is that the only fixed support she wants is for me to keep paying for her car, which is in my name. My attorney thinks I should just let her keep it as part of our settlement but I have some conditions that would allow me to take ownership back (such as her not maintaining insurance and maintenance, or letting other people drive without my permission......she let her last affair partner drive my car and I just found out about a speeding ticket her got in it 4 years after the fact).
What I had a hard time understanding is why she is so sad. She had one affair that she said was a huge mistake, but this one was more calculated since she was also planning to leave me as well this time. She said a lot of things that she never had to think about before (such as paying all of her own bills) is weighing on her. And I think the pregnancy is more of a cause of her sadness than actually leaving the marriage. She is sad that her marriage did not survive but I don't think she is sad about being apart from me in particular. She wanted more kids in the past but I didn't, and I know she didn't want kids this way. Should have made the guy wear a condom instead of relying on pills. But now I am concerned that her health issues will make this pregnancy difficult. She had issues with the first one too.
My soul isn't crushed since the marriage has been dying for a long time. We met in college and our opposite personalities attracted each other, but didn't work well in marriage. I am not sure how opposites can enjoy a marriage. Being married to her taught me some good lessons and exposed me to more areas that life has to offer, but I also learned that I need someone more like myself to be in a successful marriage. I have my own issues to work on but with my wife it became apparent after a few years that we didn't have a friendship outside of being married with a child. I can't remember the last time my wife actually asked me to spend time with her on a date or to just go out as a couple. After the initial romance wore off, we had no strong friendship to build on and we share almost no common interests anymore
Financially, the good thing is that the only fixed support she wants is for me to keep paying for her car, which is in my name. My attorney thinks I should just let her keep it as part of our settlement but I have some conditions that would allow me to take ownership back (such as her not maintaining insurance and maintenance, or letting other people drive without my permission......she let her last affair partner drive my car and I just found out about a speeding ticket her got in it 4 years after the fact).