Hey folks....I am new here and have only read a handful of threads.
My wife told me on April 21st that she has "met someone else" and isn't sure if she wants to work on the marriage. I have been discussing this with her and doing the classic bad behaviors trying to change her mind. Today she is moving to a lease nearby to "get space" to see her affair partner. It is a guy she works with and has known for about 9 years. He has been showing her attention and I have been pretty distant running all of my businesses and working full time.
We went to a marriage retreat that specializes in affairs last weekend and at the end of it she said it was probable she'd move back at some point. We have been arguing constantly about her ending the affair and she can't shake it lose and/or doesn't want to.
She has been bringing up everything I have done wrong for the last 16 years as an excuse to justify her actions. I have started dating other people at her request so I guess that helps her justify her behavior too.
I could literally write a novel about what has happened of late, but I am sure this is like many other scenarios. She has a toxic mother that has a similar relationship with her dad. Her mother constantly plants the notion that if Prince Charming ever came along to sweep her off her feet she'd leave her husband in a heartbeat. My wife also has a lot of friends that are "separated" or divorced that plant ideas in her head.
My wife filed for divorce a few weeks ago and we stopped the hearing to get a mutual temporary restraining order so we can't drain bank accounts, etc. My position has been to not give up on my family and to wait things out while dating other people and moving on with my life.
Any thoughts/comments? I can add more information if needed, but the post is already getting pretty long.
My wife told me on April 21st that she has "met someone else" and isn't sure if she wants to work on the marriage. I have been discussing this with her and doing the classic bad behaviors trying to change her mind. Today she is moving to a lease nearby to "get space" to see her affair partner. It is a guy she works with and has known for about 9 years. He has been showing her attention and I have been pretty distant running all of my businesses and working full time.
We went to a marriage retreat that specializes in affairs last weekend and at the end of it she said it was probable she'd move back at some point. We have been arguing constantly about her ending the affair and she can't shake it lose and/or doesn't want to.
She has been bringing up everything I have done wrong for the last 16 years as an excuse to justify her actions. I have started dating other people at her request so I guess that helps her justify her behavior too.
I could literally write a novel about what has happened of late, but I am sure this is like many other scenarios. She has a toxic mother that has a similar relationship with her dad. Her mother constantly plants the notion that if Prince Charming ever came along to sweep her off her feet she'd leave her husband in a heartbeat. My wife also has a lot of friends that are "separated" or divorced that plant ideas in her head.
My wife filed for divorce a few weeks ago and we stopped the hearing to get a mutual temporary restraining order so we can't drain bank accounts, etc. My position has been to not give up on my family and to wait things out while dating other people and moving on with my life.
Any thoughts/comments? I can add more information if needed, but the post is already getting pretty long.