01-22-2012, 11:51 AM
Join Date: Feb 2011
| | We've decided to divorce...so many questions and concerns
Well, last night we officially decided to divorce. At least in my mind that is what happened. He is forcing me to make all the decisions, it seems. So I guess it can be my fault.
Married 16 years. Three children (14, 7, 4).
We live with my parents.
We will need to save up money. I asked him if we could be friends and work together to get us both in a good place for the kids. He seemed to agree to that.
So, even though we have decided that this is our course I do not see him moving out until June, after school ends.
Right now he is sleeping in one of the kids room. I am thinking maybe we should bunk two of the kids and get him a queen bed for the other room. He can take it with him when he moves in June. It should make things more comfortable while he is still here.
One of our big problems is that he does not want me to have any say or control over our children's religious upbringing. I no longer believe in the church we are members of. I would like to do other things with the kids half the Sunday's and he says that church is non-negotiable.
I am a tiny bit worried that he will try to get custody because he did make mention of me getting the kids two weekends and I can do whatever I want the rest of the time. I do not know if he really meant as in visitation or as in church/Sunday activities.
Twice in our conversation last night I made it clear I want joint custody and 50/50. Although, I would still like to care for them while he is at work (I work at home), but I did not get into details like that.
He said he is going to have his paycheck go into his credit union account and transfer money to the joint account each month. My money all gets put into the joint account. I do have an online checking and online savings that I transfer money into.
I'm a little worried about the financial stuff. Oh, he went through bankruptcy this summer.
We have nothing, basically. He got a new used car and has a payment on it. I have the old falling apart minivan that is paid for.
I do not know when to tell the kids.
I do not know when to get a lawyer.
I do not know when to start telling friends and family so that I can use them for support.
Should we do MC to help us with the exit or would mediation be a better fit at this point?
I am lost!