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Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

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Old 01-29-2012, 06:43 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: Not proud! but I had to do it something...

In my opinion, you should cut contact with her. Nobody deserves to be talked to like that.
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Old 01-29-2012, 06:48 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Default Re: Not proud! but I had to do it something...

yeah im done...she thinks that i'm just going to file an uncontested divorce....i told her i wont do that...but im also NOT trying to "take her to the bank" as she stated..she started flipping out saying "why are you doing this to me?"

as if she's the only one being victimized? i told her that this whole thing hurts me so badly it makes me just want to die its so painful...

and she said that i should kill myself...to put us both out of our misery...wow i dont have any words...
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Old 01-29-2012, 06:59 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Default Re: Not proud! but I had to do it something...

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Originally Posted by CSeryllum View Post
Wow...she talked to me on the phone...told me to kill myself....WOW...devastating to be told that...

it just hit the fan
What happened that she told you to kill yourself?

Stop talking to her. Look at the 180 in my signature block below. This is how you have to interact (or not interact) with her from this point on.

If it is true that you have never been abusive to her, the reason she is probably afraid of you is because of her own actions. She might be afraid that if you knew the truth you would flip out Take that as a sign that things are worse than you imagine.

Stay away. Let your attorney handle everything.
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Old 01-29-2012, 08:37 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Default Re: Not proud! but I had to do it something...

well, she demanded to know, whether our divorce would be contested, or uncontested...i tried to explain that i dont know...and that i dont think this is uncontested...and that i had no interest in taking all of her money or anything vindictive...she FREAKED out started screaming "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?"...as if divorce is what *I* wanted?!?

I told her, it hurts me more than she could possible imagine to talk about ANY of this, i dont want her money, i just want to move on with my life, safe and secure...not scraping to get by because she left me with nothing.

I said "This hurts so bad, the pain is unbearable sometimes and it makes me just want to die because it hurts so much!"

Her response was "Then Fing kill yourself, and put us both out of our misery, just kill yourself."....

People say a lot when angry...but I believe that people also speak what they mean more so when angry...because they just cant hold it back.

Anyhow..I hung up the phone...distraught by that....she kept calling me back...started texting me...talking to people i know, to get them to convince me to talk to her...i just can't handle that...NO ONE should ever have to hear someone that they love(or loved) say THAT to them
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Old 01-29-2012, 09:02 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Default Re: Not proud! but I had to do it something...

You need help dealing with her. Do you have a trusted freind or family member? Someone who will hang in with you over the next 3 - 6 months. Be willing to take frequent calls from you for support.

This will get very nasty. She wants you to disappear for her convenience. Well, that is too bad. If the marriage was over for her then she was honor bound to tell you and plan an orderly exit.

What she is trying to do is ditch you and give you nothing for the time and labour you invested in he marriage.

Now it is on and you don't sound like you have your amour on for a fight. It is too new, raw and shocking now.

You cannot share any of your hurt, vulnerability or needs with her. She not only does not care, she wants to destroy you. Go completely dark and put on your amour.

The woman you loved is gone forever. You need time to morn but at the same time you need to get ready for a nasty fight.

Teach her a lesson, get a very good lawyer, and get every thing you can out of the b***h. She needs to feel in her pocketbook what she cannot in her heart.

She wants you to kill yourself - no - show her how much alive you are and you intend to remain by enjoying the fruits of your labors. You spent many years supporting her with your love and support making it possible for her to concentrate on her career.

It may not have meant anything to her but it did to you. Make sure you make a big enough dent in her bottom line - money - to let her know you where there.

Don't talk to her. Get a VAR when you must talk with her to record everything and keep all written records. Recording a person without their knowledge is illegal. You can use the recordings to make an accurate transcript of conversations.

Conversely, since she is accusing you of violence then it may be legal in that you are protecting yourself as it appears she is dangerous to you. Ask your lawyer.
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Old 01-29-2012, 09:17 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Default Re: Not proud! but I had to do it something...

You are in shock. But you have to recover fast. It is a pretty hard thing when someone you loved as much as you did can say such words. I read the first post you wrote again and could not believe you could be so respectful even after all the red flags and alarms.

What she says or does is not in your hands. You are a good person. And she is a fvckin basket case. You cannot let a person like her let you down. Atleast she did not drown you after a couple of kids and 10 years later.

Have you mentioned the pregnancy test? If you don't want to mention the break in , drop subtle hints that you want her to take a pregnancy test just in case :P She is also a manipulative and a bad person. Don't ever trust her again in your life(if by off chance the OM dumps her). Expose her to her parents before she destroys your social reputation.

Last edited by warlock07; 01-29-2012 at 09:29 PM.
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