Starfish and LoneStar, what would you ask of them if they wanted to come back, or is it a done deal for you two?
Mama...I know I wasn't asked, but...if my wife wanted to come back, I would take it very slowly, and work on building trust back up. I would ask her to be honest and truthful, and express herself to me, without holding back "in fear of how I might react or think." I would also ask her to, instead of becoming emotionally involved with people online, that she open up to me instead...tell me, what she would tell them. Also, counseling is something I'd at least try.
Thanks for saying that, it's hard to comprehend when you love someone so much why they just don't get it, they should be feeling so loved but they don't like you said. This will be my 2nd divorce, I was married right out of high school for 2 years with a guy in the Air Force that got another girl pregnant while we were still married. i just feel like I don't know how I could ever trust anyone. I guess there is just never any guarantees but my heart is so raw right now I just keep thinking why would I ever chance feeling like this again? It's just sad and heartbreaking, and 2 times in one lifetime.
I agree, I still feel that way...I love my wife so much, yet she doesn't respond at all...it is entirely unrequited. It is what it is, however, and sooner or later it gets easier to handle, a series of ups and downs, but it does get easier. Sooner or later you might decide that you aren't "in love" with him anymore either, but it takes time to let go.
You can trust people again, and sadly, there is an equal chance that those people will betray your trust. It's a 50/50 really...but if you think really hard...step back...and look at everything you've been through...you loved, you laughed, you smiled, you held one another, you had so many good experiences...right now, they all seem bad, because they may seem like they were "all for nothing." but they weren't. They built you up as a person. They made you feel amazing at one point.
It's hard to see that right now, because you love that person you shared your life with, and you're lost in the fog and can't see clear to the other side. I assure you though, when your heart heals up a bit more...you'll see that one big miserable experience, is easily outweighed by the thousands of little amazing and happy experiences that came before it.
Chin up, tomorrow is a new day.