I'm waiting for you...
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 02-11-2012, 06:45 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 57
Default I'm waiting for you...

to be ready. Yeah, that's what I was told last night. Oh my, I am feeling so foolish and numb and hurt and angry and ARGH! I have been posting here since October so some of you know my tale---long and short, my husband left me in October, November we had sex then he cut that off, December he reached out to me again---said he missed me so we've been "dating." At first he was attentive but lately (last 4 weeks) he's been disconnected and in my opinion, a bit cruel but tells me he's being 'honest' so if I get hurt then it's on me---that's really short but I think gets the gist.
Last night, we got together---dinner and then for the first time since he left, we came here to my house which was our home (we had always been meeting at his house b/c he was uncomfortable being here). Things were ok, then we had sex and within about 5 minutes, he asked, "you're not going to be mad if I don't stay here right? I'm uncomfortable and all I can think about is when I shot up (yes, he is a recovering addict) and when we fought about *** (my son, which is the reason why he said he left---my son is mentally/emotionally ill)."
I have been really, really good with keeping my emotions at bay for these past couple of months---trying the 180 approach sort of---but last night? I cried and I couldn't stop and he freaked out!!! He was angry and yelling---it was bad. I didn't raise my voice but he's convinced that I was out of control---I did say that I felt like a *****. He was fully dressed--hat and all--ready to bolt and I'm still naked in the bed we just frolicked in. He said I was acting like a teenage girl! What??? Then he said I was making it all about me, double-what???
Oh, and we're going through the whole preparing taxes thing---file separately, file together debate---accountant working both ways. The house is mine and I found out I can't claim it if we file separately b/c we're still married, something to do with deduction amounts....we talked about this earlier in the evening. So as he's leaving and I'm naked and crying, he says "if you want to claim the house, we can do the divorce so that can happen" OMG--OUCH!!! It was more than I could bear at that point, I had no words and he left.
After I had gathered myself together and put some freakin' clothes on, I called him. He was completely disconnected and shut down (I know him well) and after a few words back and forth, I asked him "why haven't you filed for divorce if you're so done with this marriage?" he said "I'm waiting for you to be ready." I'm sorry, and I know I've said it a few times in this post, but WHAT????
Anyone have any input for this foolish very-soon-to-be-40 year old woman (not teenage girl)?
faithaqua is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Waiting....Waiting... FiveToGo Considering Divorce or Separation 15 01-25-2012 06:28 PM
Waiting... sprinter Going Through Divorce or Separation 4 08-24-2011 11:43 AM
Waiting for counseling sleeplesssomewhere General Relationship Discussion 10 02-27-2011 11:25 AM
what is he waiting for? wonder General Relationship Discussion 15 07-17-2009 11:03 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:21 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.