My heart is broken - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-04-2009, 01:32 AM Thread Starter
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My heart is broken

My husband of 6 years told me a month ago that he was ending the marriage. He was resolute and gave me no warning that it was coming. We have had troubles in the past and we have both made mistakes but there was nothing that I know of that precipitated this bomb being dropped. He presented it as a done deal and said there was no going back. I managed to talk to him and to convince him to take some space to really think about whether this was the right thing to do. He agreed and for the next three weeks we were living in a space where I was in hope and things were ticking along. We were also in sexual contact for this period although he would consistently say that it was immoral and dishonest. He then spoke to me and said that waiting was a lie and he wanted to end the marriage. I begged him to wait longer and he agreed to wait until the beginning of April but he told me that his feelings wouldn't be any different. Everything escalated last weekend and he has now told me that he doesnt want to be anywhere near me; he is staying in the main town near where we live, I think with family although I am not sure. I am not from the country that I am living in and have no family here and very few friends. I turned to his family for support at a time when the grief was very present and I now think that they are painting me out to be unhinged and uncapable of being a fit parent to our daughter. I have sought legal advice and my husband has apparently done the same.
i feel in grief as this is happening so fast and was unexpected. I still love my husband and want my marriage but I do not recognise this person. My husband could not be capable to destroying our marriage and or family in this way. Yet I am having to act on legal advice out of sheer necessity because i am afraid that he will take away my daughter and my home.
Can any one help me? How do I deal with the pain and betrayal. How do I cope with the rejection? Over the period of 5 days he has gone from living in the house to telling me that I have no right to know anything about his life. He is not interested in anything that I am doing or how I am; all contact is in relation to our daughter. My interests have been erased from his heart.
My heart is broken

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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-05-2009, 05:15 AM
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Re: My heart is broken

I am so sorry to hear about what your going through.. My heart does feel for you because I am going through the same thing... My wife of almost 16 years decided in October that she was done with our marriage out of the blue... I can tell you this it does get easier... I am so far ahead of where I was when this started you wouldn't believe .... Keep your spirits as high as possible do things that you enjoy.. Try and not to dwell on the loss and give yourself time to grieve... There will be rough days ahead so be prepared but they will gradually get less and less... Just remember to keep telling yourself I will be ok... Eventually it will get better it might not seem that way now but I promise you it will........ Your in my thoughts and prayers.....
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-05-2009, 03:54 PM
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Re: My heart is broken

Well my wife decided that after 7 years of marriage that she didnt want to be married any more. Turns out that she was involved with someone else. Which explained alot from the past. All I can say is that I dont want to be involved with someone so fickle and disloyal. No matter how much you love him you deserve to be treated with respect. That is not can do better for yourself...deep down you know its true.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-07-2009, 02:50 PM
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Re: My heart is broken

My heart goes out to you as well and I appreciate skinman's & ptty's suggestions.

I think I might try a whole lot of crying today then look for the sun tomorrow. It'll be there. Then you can cry some more and look for the sun the next day. There's power in letting yourself work through what you need to while still looking ahead. At least that's what I tell myself.

Probably not many answers to make you feel better right now so just sending you thoughts of sympathy and support.
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