Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 629 (permalink) Old 05-23-2012, 12:06 PM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

Could you be a bit more specific?

How vague?

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post #32 of 629 (permalink) Old 05-23-2012, 12:39 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Could you be a bit more specific?

How vague?
Conrad: "Vague" in that my son doesn't really want to disclose any of the details of their conversation, kind of like he's sworn to secrecy. To my questions of what was said, he simply replies, "Dad, don't worry about it."

I really don't think that she's bleeding any of the details of the divorce proceedings to him, but I know that as an alumnus of the university that my son goes to, STBXW feels a certain commitment to help him out financially and otherwise. And as a part of that loyalty on her part, I really don't know if she is demanding his silence to me on those details between she and him. And there's also the distinct possibility that she may well be pumping him for information on my legal activities regarding those same divorce proceedings.

Or should I even be concerned at all on what conversations that they choose to enter into?

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

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post #33 of 629 (permalink) Old 05-23-2012, 01:35 PM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Conrad: "Vague" in that my son doesn't really want to disclose any of the details of their conversation, kind of like he's sworn to secrecy. To my questions of what was said, he simply replies, "Dad, don't worry about it."

I really don't think that she's bleeding any of the details of the divorce proceedings to him, but I know that as an alumnus of the university that my son goes to, STBXW feels a certain commitment to help him out financially and otherwise. And as a part of that loyalty on her part, I really don't know if she is demanding his silence to me on those details between she and him. And there's also the distinct possibility that she may well be pumping him for information on my legal activities regarding those same divorce proceedings.

Or should I even be concerned at all on what conversations that they choose to enter into?
Does he know anything that can hurt you in the divorce?
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post #34 of 629 (permalink) Old 05-23-2012, 02:38 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Does he know anything that can hurt you in the divorce?
I've remained squeaky clean during the process during the process, as is my normal modus operandi. She however, has some question marks and it could well be questions of how much of her activities that I am acutely aware of.

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html

Last edited by arbitrator; 05-24-2012 at 06:12 AM.
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post #35 of 629 (permalink) Old 05-23-2012, 02:41 PM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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I've remained squeaky clean during the process during the process, as is my normal modus operandi. She however, has some question marks and it could well be questions of how much of her activities am I acutely aware of.
I'd just ask him if she wanted to discuss the divorce.

Make him look you in the eye when he answers.
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post #36 of 629 (permalink) Old 05-23-2012, 11:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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I'd just ask him if she wanted to discuss the divorce.

Make him look you in the eye when he answers.
I did that earlier tonight and he said that they only covered the topics of college and tuition and was summarily promised help with his forthcoming tuition for the summer and fall semesters.

I love the kid because I feel that he is beyond honest, and I get the distinct impression that he resents the hell out of having to ask her for any financial help, primarily because of our situation, and him feeling somewhat "disloyal" to his old man! I think that a lot of his pent up anger over the situation often is conveyed over to me.

He's an absolutely great kid and I trust him implicitly! He truly is one of God's many blessings directed toward me!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

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post #37 of 629 (permalink) Old 06-04-2012, 08:05 PM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

I honestly wish you the best with what you are going through. I can't imagine how tough it is to go through divorce but I think all will work out for you. Things do happen for a reason. It is just a new beginning for you.
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post #38 of 629 (permalink) Old 06-04-2012, 08:24 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

Thanks, Katze! It's greatly a living testament of what wealth can do to the psyches of some people! Sad, but true!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #39 of 629 (permalink) Old 06-05-2012, 12:11 PM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

Keep your head up Arb., You know HE doesn't give us more than we can bear. By that same token, HE help those that help themselves. Tax reasons are what she see helping your sons, not much she spends on her own kids can be deducted, this woman is all about the dollar. Her blood runs green and botom lines She may even be telling your son that you cheated on her with the friend that she moved in. He may see you moving out and not causing a ruckus as it being true. He know nothing of the woman you now know to be a cold balance sheet.
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post #40 of 629 (permalink) Old 06-05-2012, 02:15 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Keep your head up Arb., You know HE doesn't give us more than we can bear. By that same token, HE help those that help themselves. Tax reasons are what she see helping your sons, not much she spends on her own kids can be deducted, this woman is all about the dollar. Her blood runs green and botom lines She may even be telling your son that you cheated on her with the friend that she moved in. He may see you moving out and not causing a ruckus as it being true. He know nothing of the woman you now know to be a cold balance sheet.
Thanks, Wolf! Don't think my oldest son would quite fall for that one as this girl is roughly his age; in fact, they actually attended JUCO at the same school, his first semester there. I wouldn't hardly give this girl the time of day as she was brought in to specifically train horses out at the farm. But my main concern is what STBXW might be specifically telling her extended family members about me, since I've had absolutely no contact from any of them other than a mailed "thank-you" card from my MIL. Now STBXW still sees both boys and interacts with them on FB. In fact, the youngest is now at her house as he was trying out for a part in their local community theatre there in our old hometown.

The boys are reticent to do or say anything adverse due to the possibility she might cut them off monetarily. But college wise, the younger one has earned him an academic scholarship and shouldn't need any help from her.

Now me? Well, let's just say that she would gladly love to see me placed on the welfare rolls! But my attorney is considering going after the prenup and having it declared "unconsciable." And if successful, it would then turn most everything into a community property situation, and might make negotiation a far more attractive and viable option for her.


"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html

Last edited by arbitrator; 06-05-2012 at 02:21 PM.
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post #41 of 629 (permalink) Old 06-05-2012, 02:29 PM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Now me? Well, let's just say that she would gladly love to see me placed on the welfare rolls! But my attorney is considering going after the prenup and having it declared "unconsciable." And if successful, it would then turn most everything into a community property situation, and might make negotiation a far more attractive and viable option for her.
Go for it Arb. I luv to see prenup's turned upside down on a person like your stbxw!!!

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post #42 of 629 (permalink) Old 06-05-2012, 04:58 PM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

Anyone out there? I need you!
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post #43 of 629 (permalink) Old 06-06-2012, 05:33 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

Today started well then turned crappy! STBXW brought youngest son back from her town where he had spent the past couple of days trying out for the "little theatre" troupe there.

Well he walked through the door announcing that he was home and said, "Hey, Dad: ____ just had me unload a bunch of boxes with your stuff in it out in the garage." I asked if she was still there and he said that she was in a hurry and took off already.

She never announces her presence or even what she's planning on doing. I certainly could have waited on these boxes. I mean, they've been with her for better than a year now. Can't quite see what a few more months would hurt. If she really wanted to do something useful, she could have moved the furniture that I had inherited from my parents that is old, quite nice, and supplies that big old house of "hers"~ (just ask her, she'll tell you!)~ with all of its ambience and charm!

But what really got me PO'd the most was that my youngest son said that she had him packing boxes and loading those heavy things out to her pickup truck for transport. So I guess that there was an ulterior motive, after all, in having him come over for a day or two other than for having him stay with her, certainly out of the sheer goodness of her heart!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html

Last edited by arbitrator; 06-06-2012 at 11:29 PM.
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post #44 of 629 (permalink) Old 06-06-2012, 06:16 PM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

Arb,

Did you really expect any better from the biotch!

Keep moving forward and find an attorney worth their salt to make her fantasy life a little nightmare.

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post #45 of 629 (permalink) Old 06-06-2012, 10:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Arb,

Did you really expect any better from the biotch!

Keep moving forward and find an attorney worth their salt to make her fantasy life a little nightmare.

HM64
Happy:

Got a great, fairly-prominent, female attorney representing me~ think one of the main reasons that she actually took the case is that she absolutely despises STBXW's counsel and seems to have a pretty good track record against the guy. So we'll see how it all plays itself out.

But what royally pi$$es me off to no end is that she had my youngest over there packing boxes with my belongings, when he could have been doing something for himself somewhere. Trust me, my counsel will find out what transpired and will not exactly be all that thrilled about it!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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