Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Texas/Brazos Valley
Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment
Learned second-hand from youngest son that STBXW is taking off for a three week vacation somewhere on the East Coast. Left yesterday. She gave my 18 year old son permission to stay in her house with her recently acquired 21 year old lady ranch hand attendant from Europe. Can't say that I'm wild about that.
Then my son informs me that he is going "sky-diving" with one of STBXW's convict kids who was arrested for possessing and doing drugs and what not, and crap hit the fan. Son told me that he was going no matter what, and further told me that just because I hated STBXW and her kids didn't mean that he didn't like them.
I told him I didn't want him running around with dopeheads like STBXW's kids were, and demanded that he not go with them. If he wanted to go with a church, youth, or academic group who shows responsibility, then I might reconsider it. I asked if STBXW was paying for it, and he said "no," that he was. I told him that money would be better used for his academics at college this fall, and I got the old "it's my money~ I'll do as I please response." I then told him that if he went, that I'd cut him off and would have some influence on him possibly losing his summer job over it, in addition to threatening him with moving back home with his natural mother. He said it made do difference, that he was going, no matter what.
I talked to my oldest son who agreed with me and offered to counsel his little brother. He told him he should use better judgement in who to associate with and that my STBXW's kids were not the type.
Don't know if I came down too hard on him, but he was mad at me for the duration of yesterday, but has been in a rather pleasant mood this morning.
On another note, a mutual friend of mine and STBXW who does FB, alerted me that there was a photo posting in her montage of a couples shot with her and the OM lovingly posing next to each other back in February over in NOLA during Mardi Gras. This was a friend and co-worker of STBXW's now deceased husband and hers. I now remember having met this guy back in early 2011 when he came to town to pay her a visit in our home under fairly innocent pretenses. He wasn't there even an hour as she was busy showing him our historical home while I remained busy working in the study.
FYI, her FB marital status is still listed as "divorced," as it has been for a little better than a year now. The sad fact of the matter is that we haven't even had our first scheduled hearing in court yet.
Well anyway, it was just weeks later after this guys "initial" visit when she asked me for the "trial separation!"
I think that I've been doing relatively well preparing for the eventuality of court and I also know that I've, and with a lot of success, done the 180 on her(and, obviously, she on me). But after having seen that photo and making the associations, it really just rips my heart out and makes me want to lose faith in mankind!
"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables
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Last edited by arbitrator; 06-30-2012 at 01:00 PM.