Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
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post #76 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-03-2012, 02:03 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Get tested for STDs. And have a full physical workover (stress test, EKG, the works) while you're at it.

My ex-wife's affair and our divorce took a huge toll on my health. Make sure you catch any problems before they arise. Don't show your hand to your wife. Keep those FB records as the ace in th hole should she decide to get nasty during the divorce procedings.
Will do, Bandito! The strange thing is that my cardiologist's wife is actually a "social friend" of STBXW. So if I were to ask him for the full battery of tests with the reasoning for such, I was just wondering if any of that would actually get back to her?

Well, not at least for 3 weeks, when she returns from her Across the Country Mini-Car Road Rally!


"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #77 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-06-2012, 07:59 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

Found out that my College Freshman son had told my friend who is employing him for summer work that he could not work for him this Friday.

I then asked my son what might be preventing him from working and making some money for college and he replied that he was taking the day off to go "skydiving" with one of STBXW's dopehead kids. I had warned him earlier that I didn't think that he was emotionally or physically mature enough to undertake such an endeavor and really fearful that there is a remote possibility that he could either end up being severely hurt or possibly killed; and coupled with the fact that such a venture could cost him upwards of $300; money that he really should be allocating for his forthcoming college expenses.

He said he was going to do it anyway, that it was his money!

Being the dad that I am, I then told him if he did pay the money to make the jump, that I was going to confiscate his cell phone and have it effectively cut off for an absolute minimum of three months. Well his reply just floored me:

"That's OK by me! Your STBXW will be happy to get me one! In fact, I can always move in with them. They'll have me!"

I closed it by rewarning him that if I saw any sort of transaction from his bank account indicating that he was doing it, that his cell phone would effectively be turned off on Saturday.

So now, even though STBXW is gallavanting around the USA until the mid/late part of July, her money is being indirectly thrown in my face through both of my boys who still are communicative with her!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #78 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-06-2012, 08:51 AM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

Arb

Let him go skydiving.

But before he goes remind him that he is disrespecting you and explain to him what karma is.........

HM64
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post #79 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-06-2012, 09:12 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Arb

Let him go skydiving.

But before he goes remind him that he is disrespecting you and explain to him what karma is.........

HM64
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Thanks, Happy! If you'd do me a favor, go to my post #78 and give me your honest assessment of what my STBXW was actually trying to accomplish by the writing of the November 5, 2010 email to me from Hawaii, greatly given the timeline that she is either EA'ing or PA'ing with OM at that same time.

Do you think that I messed up by not responding to that email through conventional channels rather than confronting her physically with my answer. Or was the issuance of that email, in your opinion, some form of a convoluded smoke screen? I always appreciate your advise!

Have a good one, Sir!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html

Last edited by arbitrator; 07-06-2012 at 09:17 AM.
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post #80 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-06-2012, 04:31 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

Freshman son withdrew $215 from his bank account yesterday, but it looks as if he redeposited $200 back in to his account today.

Guess Dad's stern warning about having his cell phone turned off finally spoke volumes to him!

But Dad is smiling!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #81 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-06-2012, 04:34 PM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

Teenagers, gotta love them.

My little brother died on April 18, 2015 after losing the fight to cancer. Please help me be able to bury him. My parents do not have the means to do so. http://www.gofundme.com/sd4ch9bk
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post #82 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-09-2012, 07:20 PM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

Your sons are old enough to know what is really going on. If one of my parents had done this to me I don't know how I would ever trust them again. You are lying to them through omission.

You need to read "No More Mr Nice Guy" asap.

As a matter of fact you are making your sons your stbxw's lap dogs. They would be far better off taking on debt than being anywhere near the scum bags in your ex's family. I would not let either of my kids within country mile of that bunch. You are swallowing a lot of pride to no good purpose.
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post #83 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-09-2012, 08:26 PM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Thanks, Happy! If you'd do me a favor, go to my post #78 and give me your honest assessment of what my STBXW was actually trying to accomplish by the writing of the November 5, 2010 email to me from Hawaii, greatly given the timeline that she is either EA'ing or PA'ing with OM at that same time.

Do you think that I messed up by not responding to that email through conventional channels rather than confronting her physically with my answer. Or was the issuance of that email, in your opinion, some form of a convoluded smoke screen? I always appreciate your advise!

Have a good one, Sir!
Arb,

You asked for my input so I will give it to you.

Your STBXW was playing you. Plain and Simple. She was EA for sure but it does look she was having dates with the OM.

Would anything be different if you had emailed her? No.

She was playing her cheating game and wanted to be romanced by both you and the OM.

Honestly Arb, when you look at her messages and her trips/excursions she enjoyed vacationing without you so she could play her games.

She is a liar, player and cheater all wrapped up in one.

The difference between her and a lot of other cheaters is she has the F.U. money to do what she wants, when she wants and with whom she wants.

And she has the money to play the legal games that she wants too which you are now feeling the result of.

There is nothing you could have done differently. And you know what, sooner or later your boys will see the real side of her as well.

Just take care of you.

And I still favor a midnight raid on your house to get your records and possessions while she is on another one of her trips.

HM64
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post #84 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-09-2012, 08:54 PM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Freshman son withdrew $215 from his bank account yesterday, but it looks as if he redeposited $200 back in to his account today.

Guess Dad's stern warning about having his cell phone turned off finally spoke volumes to him!

But Dad is smiling!
Would your STBXW of gave him money back and he still went skydiving?
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post #85 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-09-2012, 10:05 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Would your STBXW of gave him money back and he still went skydiving?
STBXW is on yet another trip and is in no position to be doling out funds. Plain and simple, my son didn't go but went to watch.

STBXW called him, however, and asked my son to go to the pet store to buy her outdoor mongrel dogs a bag of some awfully high price dog food(>$50.00 a bag) and that she'd pay him back upon her return.

I told him that I wasn't real fond of that favor of his for her, but he did it anyway, saying otherwise that the dogs were not going to get fed.


"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #86 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-09-2012, 10:13 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Your sons are old enough to know what is really going on. If one of my parents had done this to me I don't know how I would ever trust them again. You are lying to them through omission.

You need to read "No More Mr Nice Guy" asap.

As a matter of fact you are making your sons your stbxw's lap dogs. They would be far better off taking on debt than being anywhere near the scum bags in your ex's family. I would not let either of my kids within country mile of that bunch. You are swallowing a lot of pride to no good purpose.
Chap: The oldest knows about everything and richly is making efforts to wean himself from STBXW, by applying for student loans, et. al. STBXW has a hold on them because of her social status, money, et. al. I have ordered that book and greatly look forward to reading it.

I only want to be able to convey the truth to STBXW's family about her activity that caused all of this mess.

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #87 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-09-2012, 10:19 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Arb,

You asked for my input so I will give it to you.

Your STBXW was playing you. Plain and Simple. She was EA for sure but it does look she was having dates with the OM.

Would anything be different if you had emailed her? No.

She was playing her cheating game and wanted to be romanced by both you and the OM.

Honestly Arb, when you look at her messages and her trips/excursions she enjoyed vacationing without you so she could play her games.

She is a liar, player and cheater all wrapped up in one.

The difference between her and a lot of other cheaters is she has the F.U. money to do what she wants, when she wants and with whom she wants.

And she has the money to play the legal games that she wants too which you are now feeling the result of.

There is nothing you could have done differently. And you know what, sooner or later your boys will see the real side of her as well.

Just take care of you.

And I still favor a midnight raid on your house to get your records and possessions while she is on another one of her trips.

HM64
As always, thanks for your candor, HM. I fully expected that to be the answer but was just seeking some common-sense confirmation!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #88 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-09-2012, 11:10 PM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

Okay....I'm with you fellers.....
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post #89 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-10-2012, 06:26 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

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Okay....I'm with you fellers.....
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I will be too when I have the distinct pleasure of seeing you tote that big hog gun down here in Aggieland! Bandito: Those hogs are mocking you! Let's show'em how it's done!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #90 of 629 (permalink) Old 07-10-2012, 06:58 AM
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Re: Separation is Approaching A Year Now/Feels Like Abandonment

I doubt it would have helped with this wife, she just has a screw loose and the money to finance it, but you also need to get Married Man Sex Life for all your future relationship/s. (Not a sex manual but a relationship manual) although when you read it I'm am sure you will see many things that will amaze you in retrospect.
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