proudwidaddy

I hate that my stbxw did this to me, that I don't matter to her, that she is breaking up our family, that she made me feel disposable after 11 years. Agh!!
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Alwaysconfused

Hey guy. Hang in there. My wife just decided to tell me that she wanted to be separated on Feb. 13th in a counseling session. Really? Right before Valentine's Day?

I too feel disposable but I am going to keep moving forward for me and my son. We deserve it and you deserve the respect as a human being also. Good Luck.

bandit.45

Hate is good. It means you are beginning to emotionally detach from your moron wife. Rejoice that you are starting to build your armor against her. In a few months the hate will turn into acceptance and acceptance into apathy. Then you'll be free of her.
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arbitrator

Just like with me, yours seems to be an out and out case of emotional abandonment whatever the root cause of her case may be. I know precisely what it is that you're dealing with; and I totally sympathize with you. Hang in there, my friend!

papa5280

That is either the wisest or the dumbest thing I've heard since this process began for me. I'm going with wisest.

Mamatomany

I think hate is just the natural part of our grieving process. I don't like how my H is acting toward me or the kids. I what I do appreciate is that I am not alone w/ my feelings my friends and family (older children included here) have lost respect for him as well.

We will know we are in a good place when we can get to the indifferent place. Hate/Love are too closely related that line is so freakin' thin, I cross over it daily (going both ways) swerving constantly.

daisygirl 41

I hate the fact that after 17 years of us loving each other that he had a 6 week EA and gave up on us. That I am the one still fighting to save our marriage. But he has given up on our family and taken the cowards way out. I hate him for it. But.......I'm still fighting!! X
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proudwidaddy

@daisy.....good luck, I will say a prayer for you.

daisygirl 41

Thankyou. Same here. Been reading your posts but haven't posted for a few days myself. This life really stinks at the moment. My thoughts are with you too xx
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proudwidaddy

You know, this is a guy's perspective, but women all seem to want the fairytale, prince charming, but it seems that lately more women have been pulling the whole "I fell out of love with you line" from what I read on the board, can't understand it.

daisygirl 41

I think these boards have a high ratio of male posters who have had the 'speach'. I don't know why that is. H and I have had the usual ups and downs of an 18 year marriage. Kids, finances etc etc but our love for each other got us through it. That was MY fairy tale. Our love! But now it's gone and I would do anything to get it back!
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proudwidaddy

God I would love to turn back the clock so I can have one more "romantic" night with my wife, kiss her, look into her eyes, hold her forever.

Mamatomany

Me too.
I kept telling H at the beginning of this 'fight' that love will get us through this. I'd tell my older kids, we'll work it out we love each other. Family can survive horrible tragedies if we stick together... he left. No sticking together now. He may find out that he will end up very lonely. The kids no (now or later depending on age) who left the family unit, the selfish one, the person who wouldn't work on making things work, continue to damage us all a little more. If they don't know right away they will as they grow up and examine what's going on.

I got the speech btw in the fight... then he won't even say he loves me just cares about me... He really doesn't even care about me (he just tells himself that so he doesn't feel like such a jerk)

daisygirl 41

Mamatomany: we are in the same boat. I always thought 'love wld conquer all' and it hurts to think that he has just given up. We have been through so much over the years and we survived the lot. But not this time. He rolled over and gave up. He cares about me!!! WTF! I don't want his pity. I want his love and his passion. I still believe in my marriage vows. I don't know this man. He has changed so much.
Hugs to you xx
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proudwidaddy

Yeah I told my wife today that I thought I had enough love to get through for both of us, guess I was wrong.

What first attracted me to her was that she said she wanted to be a mom and a wife, I always thought family came first, I guess the family is her and the kids, not me involved anymore.