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Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

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Old 04-19-2012, 09:03 PM   #91 (permalink)
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LOL! My wife is getting the washer and dryer too Traggy!
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So I guess that is settled. If you cheat the washer and dryer are yours!

LOL
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Old 04-19-2012, 09:05 PM   #92 (permalink)
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Its noticeable in your posts that you are doing better.
Mine is getting all domestic appliances except the radio
and laptop. Could care less about the other stuff. Will buy
a new tv.
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Yeah, I have a long way to go, but I do since a touch of indifference coming through. Not all the time, but that was never there before. I think my mind is tired of all the grieving and wants to get back to being normal.

We can not grieve forever.
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Old 04-19-2012, 09:56 PM   #93 (permalink)
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So I guess that is settled. If you cheat the washer and dryer are yours!

LOL
Nuff said!!!
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Old 04-19-2012, 09:58 PM   #94 (permalink)
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Yeah, I have a long way to go, but I do since a touch of indifference coming through. Not all the time, but that was never there before. I think my mind is tired of all the grieving and wants to get back to being normal.

We can not grieve forever.
Just let the emotions process through brother. Its all you can do. Things will change for the better. Just have faith.
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Old 04-20-2012, 04:58 PM   #95 (permalink)
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Go Blues!

....at least they won.

....things are going to get better for you Traggy. They will. You just have to feel these horrible feelings...these emotions must be felt. Each bad day brings you closer and closer to a good day.

Go Cards!
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Old 04-21-2012, 03:58 PM   #96 (permalink)
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Here we go,

Started to trigger today. Just a tad bit lonely being here, with my daughter, just getting use to her not being here anymore (STBXW)

So I got sad for a minute and decided to get out of the house and get some sushi and my daughter some new shoes.

It helped, we just ate dinner together. She had grapes, cottage cheese, egg whites, and wheat bread. I enjoy cooking her meals. My STBXW use to take care of it and I would just take the frozen food she pre-made and defrost it, but I like just making it to order for my baby girl. It is something to do and it is nice to cook her fresh meals. Considering the stbxw can not cook to save her life, I understand why it is this way.

I dunno, still just not use to all the being alone crap yet. I will adjust the more time that passes. I am excited to find out who I am and excited that I get to do some of the things that I enjoy.

Anyway, I love you all and I hope you are having wonderful days.

Last edited by Traggy; 04-21-2012 at 04:57 PM.
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Old 04-21-2012, 04:27 PM   #97 (permalink)
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Sorry you're having a tough day. My stbxwh has been gone since March 3rd and it is worse now in the daytime than it was. It feels too quiet and empty. I just feel sad and lonely. The upside is the nights are getting easier. I fall asleep most nights without trouble. I thought that would take a long time. Those are the nice surprises.

Like you did today, when the blues hit, get out of the house. I promise it gets easier. I wasn't expecting the days to be difficult so maybe thats why its a problem but I'm sure it will get better soon.

Hang in there, I know that one day sooner than later we will both have days that are great. My goal at this point is to get through an entire day without shedding one tear. They don't deserve our tears or our loneliness. There are great things and people in our future, The bonus is you have your daughter and I have my son. I truly don't think I could survive this without him.

You guys are in my prayers.
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Old 04-21-2012, 05:20 PM   #98 (permalink)
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The loneliness hits me when I'm not with my children. Then, I'm scrambling to do something. Still have difficulty being alone at my place.

I'm looking for friends, etc.
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Old 04-21-2012, 09:25 PM   #99 (permalink)
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I hear that Jay, I think I am definitely going through withdraws from the stbxw living here. I am going to try to stay as busy as I possibly can when I do not have my Daughter.

It is just so very weird right now. Again, I know I am just not use to all of this yet and over time I will get there, but man this is hard.

Gotta keep telling myself, I didn't create this mess, I just have to live with the choices of someone else. This is what happens sometimes when you put your faith into someone else, we just were on the wrong side of the coin.
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Old 04-21-2012, 09:52 PM   #100 (permalink)
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Why not find a fwb?
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Old 04-21-2012, 10:01 PM   #101 (permalink)
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I am not divorced yet. I really can't do that until I sign the papers. I made a vow and plan to stick to it until the deed is done. Just because she broke her end of the deal, doesn't mean that gives me the green light on going crazy.

The old two wrongs don't make a right.

It still means a lot to me. Even though it is tarnished and ruined. It is definitely for me though, not her.

Now, the problem is, this will be very very hard. I already have a few knocking on the door and temptation there. I think I can hold out another 4-5 months.

Time will tell.

Good idea though keko, that would definitely help me in the now, but I know the long term gratification of it would be a negative.
My moral's are the only thing still in tact from all of this. Not saying a FWB is the wrong choice here, just definitely not for me.... right now. lol

Last edited by Traggy; 04-22-2012 at 01:20 PM.
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Old 04-23-2012, 10:52 AM   #102 (permalink)
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Last night was the first night that my daughter had not stayed in the house.

After, I saw the stbxw new place, and brought my Daughter in. I sat and watch my baby girl play as tears rolled down my face. The stbxw was crying, I was crying, and my daughter was happy.

She said, "I am so sorry"

I said, "This is what you wanted"

She said, "I miss her so much"

I said, "This is what you wanted"

I left and drove home crying my eyes out. Not for losing her, but for my daughter having to stay away from me. I called proudwidaddy and he listened to my cry and talked me down. All in all my melt down lasted about 15 minutes.

I think that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I did it, I am still here, it hurts like a mf'er, but I will adapt and survive.

SO afterward, a friend came over and I didn't much want to sit at home, so we went to a bar. I guess when you go out looking for trouble you find it, because sure as hell wouldn't you know it, an x of mine was there. By the end of the night I was tipsy and lonely, and she was touchy flirty, and I can to an encompass.

Either go home with her, or go the hell home.

I went home and I am glad that I did. It was hard, especially when it is thrown at you and you haven't had the touch of a woman in a while.

"Oh that is how we are going to end the night" Her

"Yes, that is how we are ending the night" Me

I drove away, got home at 2am, and now I am tired as hell. Gonna check this BS off my list for a while.
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Old 04-23-2012, 11:29 AM   #103 (permalink)
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Good move Traggy. I'm dealing with the same temptations but decided
to wait until D is final. Morals are worth keeping, dignity also. I had a good
wknd with my son. Now he says he doesnt want to go back home w/the
STBXW. I think he is just saying that. Your x is now seeing the damage she
Has created.
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Old 04-23-2012, 12:27 PM   #104 (permalink)
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Good move Traggy. I'm dealing with the same temptations but decided
to wait until D is final. Morals are worth keeping, dignity also. I had a good
wknd with my son. Now he says he doesnt want to go back home w/the
STBXW. I think he is just saying that. Your x is now seeing the damage she
Has created.
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I guarantee she thinks it's Traggy's fault - and blames him.
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Old 04-23-2012, 12:45 PM   #105 (permalink)
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Conrad: I bet she does. Got this line from STBXW this weekend: "I still don't know why we are separated. Only you know. What was it I did wrong. You must be with someone." LOL. I replied the text with a list of the reasons why.
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