When your spouse/GF has their mind set a break is their decision - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-22-2012, 09:39 PM Thread Starter
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When your spouse/GF has their mind set a break is their decision

My live-together GF of 6 years recently ended our relationship. She went dark on me with no contact for almost two weeks, then when we finally saw each other, she let it be known that her decision to leave me was final and there is no chance for reconciliation.

My question is, is all hope lost? I know there must be some stories where divorce or a break was an absolute with no reconciliation imminent, but can they come around after time? I guess I'm hurting and just reaching for hope when they're appears to be none.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-22-2012, 09:49 PM
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What where the reasons that she gave for breaking up with you? Normally what people say is that it is very difficult to convince someone to reconcile once they make a decision to leave. The reason is that usually it takes months or years for the other person to build up the resolve to leave.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-22-2012, 10:06 PM
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Re: When your spouse/GF has their mind set a break is their decision

Yes there is hope, just don't let them know it. As far as there concerned you will let them go, smile and wish them the best.

See. having a perception of strength and confidence is the best thing you can show them. Never beg or cry, but have a positive ego that makes them believe you are stronger then they think you are.

The whole idea to my thinking here is getting them to think twice about what they are about to lose for good. If they really believe you will move on with out them and the "friends" crap is out, well then they might second quess there choices.

I think poeple want what they can't have and if you can get them to believe that yes your are hurt but are confident to move on *completely without them* then it gets them thinking..


So often its " lets be friends" crap that gets us into trouble. There cake eating....believing you will always be around as there 2nd choice. But when you wish them the baest and tell them you can no longer have any contact for your own emotional health, well then they start to wonder if they willl lose you for what ever reason they want to leave you in the 1st place.

Sure this could back fire, but what have you really lost when they have already cheacked out. You can only hope they start to miss you and start chasing you since you have distanced your self.

Give it a shot, what could you lose that you already have lost.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-22-2012, 11:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: When your spouse/GF has their mind set a break is their decision

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Originally Posted by howtofigureitout View Post
What where the reasons that she gave for breaking up with you?
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Vague reasons. I got the "I don't like who I've become with you", "I'm an uncaring person now", "I'm not happy like I used to be"...you get the point.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-23-2012, 04:22 AM
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Originally Posted by the guy View Post
Yes there is hope, just don't let them know it. As far as there concerned you will let them go, smile and wish them the best.

See. having a perception of strength and confidence is the best thing you can show them. Never beg or cry, but have a positive ego that makes them believe you are stronger then they think you are.

The whole idea to my thinking here is getting them to think twice about what they are about to lose for good. If they really believe you will move on with out them and the "friends" crap is out, well then they might second quess there choices.

I think poeple want what they can't have and if you can get them to believe that yes your are hurt but are confident to move on *completely without them* then it gets them thinking..


So often its " lets be friends" crap that gets us into trouble. There cake eating....believing you will always be around as there 2nd choice. But when you wish them the baest and tell them you can no longer have any contact for your own emotional health, well then they start to wonder if they willl lose you for what ever reason they want to leave you in the 1st place.

Sure this could back fire, but what have you really lost when they have already cheacked out. You can only hope they start to miss you and start chasing you since you have distanced your self.

Give it a shot, what could you lose that you already have lost.
This just helped me a lot.
This daisygirl is not in a good place today but this is exactly what I needed to hear (again)!!
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