New to this forum so I will begin with my current situation.
I have been with the love of my life for 10 years, we have three children and have been married for 4 years.
The pressures of debt, young children and my insecuritys took its toll on our relationship but for the best of time we were very happy together.
A month ago my wife told me she needed to move on with her life, in the space of two weeks she has moved into her own place with the children and I moved out. There has not been a day she has NOT contacted me, for the 1st week not very nice text, but i never responded back with angry just love.
I panicked the first week and did all the things I should not have, promised I would change and begged her back - obviously this did not work.
I helped her alot with the move as she does not have alot of people to help her so I made sure i did. And I even brought her a new wardrobe, rug etc for her new place. I have left her with my car and everything we brought as a couple, would not have it any other way as I love her and my children very very much.
Two days ago I got a text from her asking if she should come over, so I said yes, we had a nice evening and ended up sleeping together. Yesterday we saw each other again NO sex but just cuddled and watched a film together, she then went home.
This morning i got a Four text sent one after the other from her:
" I dont want to back to it being us again! I am happy being single and just getting on with it, but I don't think you are? I don't know it just feels like it's getting bit to much again?"
"And thats not what I want right now"
"You can text back"
I no that's probablly really annoyed you now but I just like things the way they are at the moment and I don't know I'm wrong in thinking you want things to go back to how they were?"
"Hi not at all? I am happy being single too I don't ever want us to get back together being the same people we were before. All I said yesterday is I am not intrested in meeting anyone else and if i do get to the point were I have meet someone else I would tell you first, and just wanted to ask if you would also?"
"Oh OK ignore me then, yes I totally would tell you"
(This really hurt me)
"maybe we should just stop seeing each other and texting from now on, I will pick up the kids on my weekends and set times to call them everynight, Obviously if you need to contact me regarding the children please DO, but other then that we should maybe cut ties and see how we both feel, I know you want to be single and this would help me move on from you i think x"
"OK I understand, what time will you get them on saturday? X"
A min later she sends a random text about how she is trying to find a location and it is a nightmare????? so she has ignored my request to only contact if it is with regards to our children???
I am so confussed right now I love her so so much, But i dont want to come across needy anymore.
I truly don't think there is anyone else, maybe I am wrong but she never really has the time to meet other people and I think she is the type that would tell me if she had.
She was 19 when we had our first child and I her reason for the split we because I became very controlling, who she talked to, went out with etc.... Which is all true when I look back on how I behaved that side of me got out of control.
I have always been there for her and the kids but I think it hurt her to much that I didn't seem to trust her.
When we broke I asked had she met anyone else and she said No and she has no interest in meeting anyone else she just wants to concentrate on getting a secure future, job, house etc without debts.
You could be entirely correct and there is no other male interest but the odds are against it.
The fact of the matter is if you want to save your marriage you must find out if there is or not because it will alter the actions you must take to fix it.
Do you really think she'd be honest with you if she were interested in someone else?
If there is another man and you didn't account for him everything you do will be in vain.
I'd go ahead and take the advice I gave above while doing some snooping. Posted via Mobile Device
You right i wouldn't put it past her but it has been on the cards for a while, we kind of broke up last year albeit only two weeks and constant miss you messages. She told me she see's her friends who are with there partners who trust them and it was not fair of me not to trust her. Last time we broke up she said it will be good for me as I will see she has no interest in meeting other people.
Totally you have it the nail on the head! how can i ever feel secure if she walks out. She also told me she feels her friends will hate her if she changes her mind, as they have seen how upset it makes her and told her she must break away!
Her friends get too involved and she relys to much on pleasing them