Agast84

In the last few weeks I have been struggling with the whole concept of being "just friends". I am not doing it any more. I do not want to continue chasing a woman that lied to me(about how she felt about me and other things). I have come to terms with what my part was which is difficult considering I feel like there is more to it(for now anyways) in the problems. I know I am not perfect, but I am always honest about what is bothering me.

1.) I have not sent her a text in several days.
2.) I have not bought anything for her present wise.
3.) I did not go to "family day" this week.
4.) I let her contact me.

I am tired of being the one to initiate conversations concerning "us". In my mind, if she wants a permanent separation, I want to remind her that is called a divorce. I know some people start relationships before divorce, but not this guy. I want my new love interest to feel secure in her spot, not wondering if she will be dumped at short notice for a wife.
I am in charge of my own life. I know what I want and deserve.

the guy

Hell ya, thats what I'm talking about!

There is no try here there is only do!

You my friend are about to see some changes in your W with this new found strength. I have a sence you will scare the crap out of her once she sees the new you, who will no longer let her "cake eat"

pana1089

Good for you. It is good to take control of your own life instead of waiting for others to toy with you.

Agast84

I have felt like all of her actions are motivated by guilt of wanting out of the marriage and for other things. That is just selfish. She wants to continue to take care of me, whatever that means. If she was truly concerned with me she would communicate more. I know I said I wanted to be friends, but I have figured out that it just won't work out at this point, if ever.

cabbage65

well done agast, i've decided the same. when stbx wanted to separate AGAIN, i thought no buddy you're in the marriage or you're not. little did i know how much he wasn't in it. and there is no being a little married like a little pregnant. i can't be friends either, but i will be civil for my son's sake. i say this is a great step for you.

Agast84

In all, she is nice when we have done things together in recent months, but I feel overly drawn to her. I hold her, I kiss parts of her that she allows, but I see this as a bad thing for both of us. She still says no to anything beyond this, but doesn't tell me no to the aforementioned things. She has said recently that we shouldn't, but I catch myself and feel like a creep. I by no means use intimidation or threats to do these things, it happens out of comfort and the need for comfort. She may feel as bad about it for other reasons, but I have to stop myself from feeling her rejection(she accepts rather than initiates) or over stepping boundaries if I am going to find happiness in life.

bandit.45

You should be the farthest thing from a friend of hers after what she has put you through. Stay away from her, go dark and wait for the divorce to go through. Ignore her calls and texts, change your cell phone number and e-mail address if you have to.

Agast84

She rarely calls or texts. I was the one calling and such, I was stupid to do so. Key word is WAS. We have kids so I have to be in contact with her for that reason. I am attempting to be non-hostile for my kids' sake. I am just going to take these small steps down this long path and pick up the pace when I see fit.

bandit.45

Yes.... stupid.