So today I had to go over to my (her) house and get some of my belongings. They were in the garage...so I went over, and she let me into the garage.
She stood there...and I wasn't sure if it was because she was just like...trying to be around me? Or to make sure I wasn't going to like, steal stuff? I really don't know...
Anyhow, it was awkward and silent. I didn't have much to say to her other than give her short answers. I was gathering some boxes of my stuff and loading them into the car.
It got to a point where she was asking questions about what i've been doing with my time. She was digging for information.
She had heard through a mutual friend of mine that I had been going out late at night....so my wife assumed it was with a woman. She wasn't wrong. But that doesn't make it any less of an assumption without the facts.
Anyhow...I told her that it's not really important that she knows what I do with my personal life...since she isn't part of my personal life anymore. She immediately went into "So that means yes you were!"...she got mad about it.
Needless to say, she kept saying I was having "an affair" and that she could use it against me in the divorce if she wanted to...we signed the agreements and divorce papers already...we literally are just waiting 30 more days for the state of TX to make it "official"...but we're definitely not together anymore.
She kept saying "BUT IN THE EYES OF THE LAW WE ARE MARRIED!!!" and I was like....ok? We haven't been together in 5 months. And you wanted this divorce...why do you care? I'm going to be with plenty of other women, just as i'm sure you're going to be with plenty of other men.
She is just using the "law" to express her anger I guess. Anyhow, I didn't yell, or raise my voice, because that's just not how I am. She started getting more frustrated. and our interaction ended with her saying "ok, you can go now" and I asked "why are you freaking out like this?" to which she gave me the finger, and shut the door.
A key element I should mention...is that I told her about how I felt about her emotional affair, that she was planning to make physical (buy purchasing plane tickets to see this other guy) before we even filed for divorce. She said "That's different because we didn't actually do anything!" and the only reason they didn't do anything was because apparently he rejected her, and didn't want her to come visit. So...she didn't have a physical affair, because she lost the opportunity...not because she is a good person with morals.
She also doesn't acknowledge ANY of her faults for the marriage falling apart, or that she just a week ago said it was her fault, and her issues are why it didn't work, not because of me.
but now she's turning it into a "YOU HAD AN AFFAIR! I can't believe you did that!"
Is it possible that she is just really that insane? Her constant change of personalities makes me wonder if her families history of mental illness is starting to shine through the cracks in her...
Also, I don't think she liked that when she threatened that she could use "my affair" against me...that TX is not a state in which Alienation of Affection is a legal defense. She didn't like hearing that at all. lol.
The encounter reminds me of my sister-in-law. She and my brother are going through a divorce... her choice. She is always bringing up the law as though she knows anything about it. She’s always going to bring the force of the law and courts down on him… even though he has not done anything and has not talked to her in over a year.
I swear divorce makes some people go off the deep end.
She's looking for a way to make this your fault and absolve herself. Why? Because if it is all your fault she didn't do anything wrong and therefore doesn't need to fix anything about her. It isn't crazy, its so the crazy can still hide. :-)
I kind of agree with her about the married/not married thing, but each person decides for themselves when its right/not right to move on.
Way to go on getting under her skin and proving your still attractive. Nicely done.
She is confused, hurt, disillusioned, disappointed and searching for a way to make this better for HER. All n her. Do not get pulled into helping her make sense of what she did to the family. The less said will be better inthe short and long run. She is probably on emotional E and looking for something or someone to fill her up...and you are as good as anybody to fit the bill. Keep on moving forward and just know the good times are just beginning.
I've got a friend who experienced exactly the same thing....seems typical for a "cake eater" type. It's alright as long as they are calling the shots, but the minute the dumped person starts to move on, they see the "Backup plan" going out of the window....and they panic.
She doesn't like the fact that you have a spine and are moving on.
In her world - she does whatever she wants, and you spend the rest of your life waiting for her to return.
I think that's exactly the way my wife is seeing me... as an option. Have been in contact with her once since Feb, 7th. I don't see the point in reconciliation now. She did fish for a happy v-day wish from me on the 14th, but I chose not to respond to her Facebook message.
She contacted me today...asking what I still need to get out of the house...basically non-stop pestering me. So I finally respond, and tell her yes I will work on getting it out.
The only complicated part is, I have a 55 inch TV that I'm taking, yet I have no way to move it, she has an SUV but won't help (obviously)...her suggestion? Just give it to her...and buy a new 1200 dollar Tv...yea...right...
I told her the things I needed to get...one of which was a 1500 dollar macbook and my power tools. She was like "I'm not giving you those"
Most of which I bought with my money...and had before we married. She is literally trying to say things like "Well, I paid for our last vacation, So I'm going to keep those"----items that were mine before marriage. I laughed at that...but she serious is convincing herself, that she is justified in her ridiculously insane logic.
The only complicated part is, I have a 55 inch TV that I'm taking, yet I have no way to move it, she has an SUV but won't help (obviously)...her suggestion? Just give it to her...and buy a new 1200 dollar Tv...yea...right...
You can't be serious. What is this? A comedy show?
this was the reason of her this kind of behavior. She may be crazy but you are responsible for this.
I don't know why...but the way that this is phrased seems like you're saying "sure he's a rapist, but if she didn't look so attractive it wouldn't have happened....she was kind of asking for it."
Maybe that's crude...but that's the vibe I got lol. Posted via Mobile Device
She sees that the grass is NOT greener on the other side, her new life is not going to work out, you're not going to cave into her and take her back, and, what really p*sses her off, you've moved on!
"HOW DARE YOU!!!!", she says.
So she's trying to emotionally hold you hostage, and perhaps feel that she will "win" the divorce.
And if that don't work, she'll start with "Even though the state says we're divorced, in God's eyes, we're still married!"
She sounds crazy. I am/have gone through the same with my ex. When she is upset there is no reasoning with her and she can get herself to believe the sky is red if she tries hard enough. It's a strange phenomenon to say the least.
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Is she crazy? 
