proudwidaddy

I keep having a recurring dream where my stbxw is in the bedroom having sex with another guy. I'm in the corner of the room watching them, and she can tell I'm there because she keeps looking over at me and winking.

Then she says how much better the new guy is better than me.

sadwithouthim

He's not better than you. He choose to cheat with a mans wife. That does in no way make him better. I can tell you her cheating is to fulfill her own insequirities. It most likely had nothing to do with you.

Get yourself a dream catcher. Native Americans believed if you hung them in the room you sleep in it will catch your dreams. It will keep the bad ones and the good ones will filter down the middle and into your thoughts. When the sun rises in the morning it will burn up the bad dreams left behind in the web.

I've developed a lot of low self esteem issues from my situation. You are newer to this....don't let it get the best of you or you will fall further down in the hole and I can tell you it is very hard down here and very difficult to climb out.
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Stryker

A Trolling Horrible Dream..?

Btw Dreams have their impacts

proudwidaddy

Stryker,
What do you mean dreams have their impact? What impact is there for my mind to have me witness the person I'm still trying not to love anymore get plowed by someone else?

EleGirl

The dream is most likely something that is mulling around in your mind.. probably in your subconcious.

Perhaps you can make some plans that in your next dream you have some snappy come back to her and then say it. I cannot thing of one right now but something about how she's picked a real loser.

I used to have a lot of nightmares. It was to the point that I dreaded going to sleep. Then one day I realized that mightmares are a lot like scary movies... (I hate scary movies). You and either watch it and munch on popcorn or you can walk out (or turn off the TV).

From then on when I started to have a nightmare.. my sleeping mind would just say "oh boy" and turn it off. After doing that a few times I don't have nightmares any more.

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bandit.45

It's all part of the process. You are going through a withdrawl, just like a junkie coming off heroin. The dream is not real, only a manifestation of your anxieties.

This is healthy. If you were not having such dreams, I would be very worried. That would mean your brain is not processing the anxiety and pain you are suffering emotionally.

You are healthy, sane and okay!

Your subconscious mind is changing your brain to learn to live without the stimuli your wife used to provide. Let the dreams come, and tell yourself that they are what thet are. They are not real.

proudwidaddy

Bandit,
Thanks bro. I'm still trying to get my self confidence back that someone other than her could want me
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bandit.45

Alot of men want her.... for one thing only. And once you put yourself out on the market, alot of women are going to be squeezing you to see if you're fresh.

Get to it!

proudwidaddy

Thanks man

angelpixie

I know some people who have been able to learn lucid dreaming. If you could control your dreams, it might make you feel really good to go kick the OM in the cojones.
Bandit is right -- your subconscious is helping you to work through things -- things you already know about and things you fear. It will take time, but it will get better (speaking from experience here).

Agast84

I had a similar thing. I am still paying for "her bed". They have passed. Yours will too. Like everyone has said, part of the process. Feel free to message me.

sd212

So I've started suffering from this just this week. Had 3 nights of horrible STBX having sex w/ the new man dreams and then last night had one about her coming back to me and reconciling. I have to admit that was alot easier one to take
Not healthy but it sure was wonderful.

I recently found out that she had our bed taken by movers to his house (had told me she was taking it to her new place). I think that is what set the dreams off for me. I went on a quest for answers and most people say that they will subside. I'm accepting that these dreams are part of the process and keeping my Valium close to my bed. I just get up and take one and I'm fine after about 20 minutes.

It is so awful, every part of it, but the dreams have such a big impact. I hope you realize that it is a manifestation of the rejection we feel. That this is the worst thing that could ever happen to us and it really isn't all that different from what you feel all day every day.

Wildflower3

Thank goodness it's not just me! Lately, I've been having terrible dreams. Like he got another woman pregnant, or that he confessed affairs. AWFUL dreams. I feel like when I feel good for an extended period of time, something has to bring me back down, whether it be his actions (I know I control my feelings, but I still hurt) or these damn dreams!

Mamatomany

My H (the dumper) actually told me that he was having those dreams about me and someone else about 4 - 6 wks into the 'fight.' Some of my dreams have been of us having sex not w/ him and someone else (maybe I make that happen).
I wonder if those dreams are more likely to be had by males?

My dreams are more about him abandoning us and giving up is what I have recurring dreams of (now watch my dreams will change). I generally do take control in my dreams to turn them around, but nowadays I often wake up before I can play director.

proudwidaddy

Mama,
Two days ago I had a dream where my stbxw and I were together again, and every time I went to kiss her and try to get romantic she would run away from me
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