AlterEgoist

On Thursday, I told her I was going out of town because I had to get away from things. Our relationship is all kinds of screwed up so I wanted to get away from her and things. She wanted to know where I was going - I just told her that I was heading west and I'll figure it out as I go. I did tell her that I would text her once to let her know that I'm ok.

As I was out of town on Saturday, she sent me a text msg wondering if I was ok at about 3:30pm. I didn't respond. I get a call at 7:30, I initially didn't answer. I then called her back, she wanted to know where I was. I told her the same thing - I was out west. She wasn't too happy about that. So I go off and do my own thing, and some time after midnight, I decided to text her that I'm still alive. Set off a series of texts wondering where I was, but I remained ambiguous about it all. And to tell you the truth, it felt really good to let her wonder/worry what the hell what I was doing for a change.

She wants the divorce, I originally didn't. I originally said that on March 28th would be the day that she has to decide what to do. But as I was on the road thinking, why should she dictate what has to happen in the relationship? I have a say too!

So I decided that when I came back on Sunday, I would be informing her that I would move out in a week (April 1st. Haha, joke's on me.) So I get home at about 6pm Sunday evening, and we do normal house stuff, then get some groceries. As we finished dinner, she wanted to clean up the house some more. But I stopped her right there and told her.

Basically I said that this relationship is pretty screwed up. I can't live in the house like this, and we definitely need time away from each other. She needs to figure out what she really wants, and I have to figure out if I really want this marriage to work. If I do want it to work out, can I forgive her for the lies and the deceit? The time away from each other will help. I asked her for no contact for a while... we just need to stay away. Nothing about divorce, nothing about separation or any of that stuff. I did tell her that no one is to come to the house, and since it's still my house, I will come and go as I please. But I will make the effort to only appear in the house (to pick up mail, etc) when she's at work.

It was a sad moment. I went upstairs to lay down and listen to music. She didn't want to clean anymore, I think reality just seeped in for her.

And here is Monday, 6 days left until I move out. I still feel a bit sad here at work, but I know I have to move forward, no matter what happens.

Traggy

Good,

You want a divorce, let me show you what a divorce is. I want to show my stbxw this so bad, but can not because of the child.