She is starting to reach out.....

sirch · 02-25-2009, 09:00 AM

Hiya folks! Sorry to have been away for a few days but ..it happens ya know? Let me get to my point and any feedback would be appreciated. Last week my wife started calling or texting me just to talk (usually it was just to talk about our son). I was a little bit taken back by this but enjoyed it just as well, I kept the converstions light and we even had a lunch date last Sunday that went really well. So this week she e-mails my mother, asking to meet and talk over lunch (she has had no contact with my mom since we separated). Mom, not being ugly or anything explains how she feels (sometimes mom can be a bit blunt) and really gets my wife upset, crying,etc. I get a call, my wife is hurt and needs me so I meet her at the house. I just held her, listened and did not offer any solutions but just let her know I was there for her. After a while, when she had calmed down we end up in bed the rest of the afternoon (and I sure needed that, it's been a while) enjoying each other. Just so you know I did not initiate the sex, she did. My question is what do you think, Is she trying to bring things back together in her own way? I am glad I was the one she called when she needed someone but just don't know what to think of the situation.

Amplexor · 02-25-2009, 09:19 AM

She is likely still in a state of confusion. Continue to support her and work on your changes. These are good signs but are probably not as significant as you are reading in to them. Keep it steady and consistent. Give her time. The more she initiates communication and contact the better. Good to hear sirch!

sirch · 02-25-2009, 09:36 AM

Thanks Amp, I continue to work on me, go to counseling, do the homework,etc. I have been reading men are from mars, women from venus and it has had a positive impact on me. I've never been a reader before but now I find it does occupy my mind during the long quiet periods. Any other good books you know of?

Amplexor · 02-25-2009, 09:55 AM

The Five Languages of Love is a great read for all couples in a solid relationship or troubled one.

827Aug · 02-25-2009, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amplexor

The Five Languages of Love is a great read for all couples in a solid relationship or troubled one.

That would be an excellent book to read at this time! Once you identify your wife's love language, you'll know what type of things she appreciates you doing for her. Gary Chapman also wrote a book titled "Hope for the Separated". I found it useful as well. It has many biblical references, so I realize this book may not be for everyone. It does sound as though there is still hope for your marriage.

sirch · 02-25-2009, 01:31 PM

Thanks 827Aug! I have not given up, as a matter of fact I am on day 12 of the love dare. I believe some of the dares are getting her attention, although I can't be sure. Being separated does make this love dare a little harder. I will certainly go out this weekend and get that book, It sure can't hurt anything at this point.

stillhurtin · 03-05-2009, 04:37 PM

what is the love dare

sirch · 03-06-2009, 08:44 AM

It is a book, but first rent the movie fireproof. Then things will make sense, you can get the book at wal-mart or any major book store. If you are not into faith, then this book may not be for you. If on the other hand you were into Gods word but have drifted away then this book may help you. There are other threads here that pertain to this program that may explain things better than I, just do a search.

Blonddeee · 03-15-2009, 11:30 PM

I wish my soon to be ex-husband would fight for me the way you are fighting for your wife. But maybe it's just who he is and i need to find someone that i'm better for. But good luck, keep fighting, your wife is a lucky lady and i hope she starts to see what she could lose if she leaves. Good luck.

sirch · 03-16-2009, 08:31 AM

Thank you blondee, words of encouragement are always needed and appreciated.