Call me cynical but I suspect that she may have found that the OM may have been cheating on her. If that is the case then it would explain why she came back.
But be that as it may, why would any husband choose to be his cheating wife's fall back guy is simply beyond me.
What an awful day. I had to leave work b/c I was so completely consumed by all of this. She has sent me a couple text messages about mundane things but I have not responded.
I cannot believe this is happening, again. For the first time since the day she left I am not being a doormat today so I guess maybe it is good this happened. I can honestly say that i made it to the finish line having never given her anything but love and respect. She can't say the same. I hope this haunts her.
You were all right. She informed me this morning that what she felt was emotional and what she misses is our friendship. All the pain is back and I was so close.
This is awful. I am so angry and hurt.
This won't happen again. I can't take it anymore. Should have signed that day. What the hell is wrong with people?
I am so sorry you had to go through this. Shame on her for toying with your feelings like that. Be gentle with yourself...you wanting to believe in her and what she was saying is understandable. I think we'd all have a hard time not grabbing on to it should our spouses do the same. But she's proven she only cares about her needs and wants...don't let her have an opportunity to take you backwards again. Time to move on for your own self. Hugs
What an awful day. I had to leave work b/c I was so completely consumed by all of this. She has sent me a couple text messages about mundane things but I have not responded.
I cannot believe this is happening, again. For the first time since the day she left I am not being a doormat today so I guess maybe it is good this happened. I can honestly say that i made it to the finish line having never given her anything but love and respect. She can't say the same. I hope this haunts her.
Time to do a hard 180 friend. Send her one last text saying "From now on we only talk through our lawyers. Do not contact me again except to make arrangements for the kids."
Then go completely and utterly dark on her. No calls, no texts no emails from you except for visitation arrangements. You need to run to the safety zone friend, and stay there... away from the toxic, f*cked up world she has created for herself.
She has made me feel like there is something wrong with me. She is the one who is messed up. She is delusional and completely out of touch with reality. I hope she doesn't transfer her problems to our children.
Bandit, I'm the closest I've ever been to being able to do exactly what you say. I'm going to think about everything but she has already texted wanting me to come over Friday and Sunday. Un freaking believable. I've never felt what I'm feeling now and that is complete and utter disgust for her. I wish she would just go away.
Jayb, I know you know how I feel and I really appreciate the kinds words.
She has made me feel like there is something wrong with me. She is the one who is messed up. She is delusional and completely out of touch with reality. I hope she doesn't transfer her problems to our children.
Bandit, I'm the closest I've ever been to being able to do exactly what you say. I'm going to think about everything but she has already texted wanting me to come over Friday and Sunday. Un freaking believable. I've never felt what I'm feeling now and that is complete and utter disgust for her. I wish she would just go away.
Jayb, I know you know how I feel and I really appreciate the kinds words.
Call ACME and have the locks changed. Text her back "NO".
I think you need a hot pizza and a cold beer. If you were a woman, I'd say a hot bath...even though my husband is the bubblebath lover in this house LOL!
You're a good man. Don't let her make you double guess yourself. DO NOT fall into her web or her conniving requests.
She wants you to come over?! LOL I say you should call some buddies and make plans for BOTH DAYS. Screw her and her psychotic tendencies.
I think you need a hot pizza and a cold beer. If you were a woman, I'd say a hot bath...even though my husband is the bubblebath lover in this house LOL!
You're a good man. Don't let her make you double guess yourself. DO NOT fall into her web or her conniving requests.
She wants you to come over?! LOL I say you should call some buddies and make plans for BOTH DAYS. Screw her and her psychotic tendencies.
I was going to offer to kick butt too!
LOL I want the cold brew(and make it a dark one) while I soak in a hot bath, thank you. It's been so long since I have soaked in my bath.
Text her back and say "Hell NO" then go dark for a while.
She has made me feel like there is something wrong with me. She is the one who is messed up. She is delusional and completely out of touch with reality. I hope she doesn't transfer her problems to our children.
Bandit, I'm the closest I've ever been to being able to do exactly what you say. I'm going to think about everything but she has already texted wanting me to come over Friday and Sunday. Un freaking believable. I've never felt what I'm feeling now and that is complete and utter disgust for her. I wish she would just go away.
Jayb, I know you know how I feel and I really appreciate the kinds words.
SD212, I don't mean to hurt your already damaged feelings, but you are one fellow in desperate need of a clue. Let me explain a few things re your post I quote above.
1) There IS something badly wrong with you. You have a weak and underdeveloped ego, and it causes you to do things like give your wife opportunity after opportunity to harm you.
2) Yes. Your wife is messed up. You were within hours of signing divorce papers and being rid of her, and after a few tears and no meaningful gestures on her part, you are once again in a world of misery. Your wife is not the only one messed up here.
3) One of you is definitely delusional. One of you keeps getting what she wants, whether it is freedom, friendship, or just sick satisfaction that she totally controls her husband. The other partner (the delusional one) agrees to set aside his boundaries and plans only hours from signing because "it'll be different this time."
If this were happening to your best friend, or some guy you barely know, or an anonymous poster on a website, you would be able to tell them exactly what they need to do.
The only person you are helping by not-doing-anything is the person who is abusing you.
The only person who can make the abuse stop is YOU.
Having anonymous people on the internet tell you that your wife is horrible for screwing you over repeatedly is not going to make you feel better in any meaningful, lasting way.
Do the things that need to be done. Do the things that will let you look at yourself in the mirror again. Stop talking to this person who causes you harm, and sever your ties with her as much as humanly possible.
SD212, I don't mean to hurt your already damaged feelings, but you are one fellow in desperate need of a clue. Let me explain a few things re your post I quote above.
1) There IS something badly wrong with you. You have a weak and underdeveloped ego, and it causes you to do things like give your wife opportunity after opportunity to harm you.
2) Yes. Your wife is messed up. You were within hours of signing divorce papers and being rid of her, and after a few tears and no meaningful gestures on her part, you are once again in a world of misery. Your wife is not the only one messed up here.
3) One of you is definitely delusional. One of you keeps getting what she wants, whether it is freedom, friendship, or just sick satisfaction that she totally controls her husband. The other partner (the delusional one) agrees to set aside his boundaries and plans only hours from signing because "it'll be different this time."
If this were happening to your best friend, or some guy you barely know, or an anonymous poster on a website, you would be able to tell them exactly what they need to do.
The only person you are helping by not-doing-anything is the person who is abusing you.
The only person who can make the abuse stop is YOU.
Having anonymous people on the internet tell you that your wife is horrible for screwing you over repeatedly is not going to make you feel better in any meaningful, lasting way.
Do the things that need to be done. Do the things that will let you look at yourself in the mirror again. Stop talking to this person who causes you harm, and sever your ties with her as much as humanly possible.
This is tough love, but it is true. Being someone who can closely relate, I suppose it's better that he recognized this sooner than later. I probably would have gone full-on back. Which shows extreme weakness, naivete, or immaturity on my part. It's almost like being addicted to drugs. on-off the wagon.
There's just so much to think about and if my wife ever speaks of any type of R, I'll be sure to run it by all of you here first before jumping in.
SD, if the issue of being friends comes up at all in your discussions, you should tell her that you can't be friends with her because none of your friends would ever do to you what she has. That's not a friend!
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Re: She came back!!!! Well, sort of. 
There's always bootknockin' in this house.
