everantisocial

So we are coming up to 2 years since my ex said he wanted out, a year since I had to tell him to stop contacting me (unless he had stopped seeing OW) due to strange behaviour on his part, since then I have heard nothing I mean nothing at all...have no idea where he is. This is strange in itself as when he first announced he wanted out of our marriage he practically wanted me to sign papers there and then and it was me that asked for breathing room for 6 months but that 6 months has come and gone a number of times....but not here to talk about him (much).

I've done all the things that are recommended...lost weight, daily exercise, new wardrobe/haircut, passed my driving test, managed to save for and buy a car, got 2 promotions at work. I still miss him a lot and would still work on things if he appeared on the door step, but the tears are coming less and less and I don't wait for a message/call anymore. I get through the days and have started to be more social after being a hermit for a long time. I've even looked at men and thought...you have great shoulders...hair etc.

But....I just don't feel anchored anywhere anymore, there's nothing to ground me and I feel like I'm just coasting through the days, I'm not really happy but I'm not really unhappy either - I'm just being. I love my job and the people I work with but it wouldn't bother me to go somewhere else or not. I live in a city I moved to over 20 years ago, where I have lots of good friends but I don't feel attached to it anymore. I was on a train the other day and could have got off at any stop and would have been just as emotionally linked to a place I'd never been to before than I am to my home. It's like a bit of me has shut down or there's something missing (apart from him) that I can't put my finger on.

Is this just another part in the process??

Mamatomany

Maybe learning not to attach to much to anything (including our location) is part of the process. I know I have detached from more than my H too. Things that I held on to are easily disposed of ... like I was.

Maybe you are feeling it's time for a move? Can you be transferred? It could be quite the adventure.

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midlifecrisis-for-dummies

everantisocial

I've got rid of lots of stuff to, nothing important (not photos etc) just bits and pieces that I don't need to hang on to anymore. There's still more to go but I'm just lazy

I'm in the middle of a masters course at the moment so couldn't leave for another year then I would love to move back out to the country or to the sea but then would I feel the same when I got somewhere new?? If it's me thats the problem not my location I'll feel the same wherever I am.

SilverPanther

I think that sometimes a move can be a really positive thing. So long as you're moving towards something, and not just running away. I have been thinking a lot lately about moving sometime, too. I never intended to spend my whole life here, and lately I have just wanted to have *more* in my life than what I had before my ex came and went from my life. I don't *think* I am running away, I just want to experience so many new things right now, because I feel like I hae just wasted 10 years of my life. I know, I know, it's not a waste cause I learned things from it, and so on, but I just spent about 10 years trying to head down one path, only to find it's not the way out of the maze I thought it would be, so I know I only have so much life left, I want to try some other paths while I can.

Do you think you would enjoy a change of scenery, a different kind of life?