Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: melbourne, australia
Re: Moving on, doing the 180 after wife's EA.
Keep at the 180. Don’t waver.
As far as thinking what your wife is doing, DON’T. You got to have the mental edge over yourself to be able to push through this. Only now (I've been doing a 180 for 7 weeks) is it really paying dividends. Basically I have focused on myself, whenever I get the chance. As a single parent, you never ever get a chance to look after yourself, but you have to put kids first right.
Well, when your wife is out with the kids - then you start looking after yourself.
I liken it to the oxygen mask on an airplane analogy. Whereby, in emergency situations, we are all told as adults that in the event of an emergency, we have to put the masks on for ourselves first, then the children. Well in our situation, we really, really, really have to look after ourselves first, then children. (I know that's against our parenting philosphies, but hear me out). Our children depend on us to be very strong and secure within ourselves. If we are not, then they really suffer. So Buck, whenever you get a chance to be by yourself, then its time to put the oxygen mask on and look after you. That means maybe the following;
1. Exercise / Take up boxing
2. Look after your self lookswise (Haircut, clean out wardrobe)
3. Clean the house, learn how to cook better meals for the kids
Trust me, the mental edge is something you need to get in your life, as you will find that most Betrayed Spouses, end up in a better state than their Waywards in the long run. Your marathon journey has to happen now,
So whenever you have a rough day, Make it a day for "You" - do things you want to do.