Good on you, Buck! I had a similar conversation with my H two years ago during our separation. From this moment on, I can't promise you it will be easy--there will still be bad days--but you have definitely made the first bold step in recovery. You stood up for yourself. You defended your dignity.
Good for you is right! Seems like you really had a major shift internally. Dang good for you.
Prepare for the possibility of her to get cold and harsh. From the moment I had this type of event w/ my stbxw, she has turned into an ice queen and hates my guts. Outwardly anyway.
Sounds like you're doing really well, especially considering how early it is in all this. Don't be too surprised though if you start to feel really sad and overwhelmed again. It tends to be a bit of a roller coaster ride at first. Not trying to put a damper on things; I think you handled the conversation last night very well, but forewarned is forearmed.
Well, she definitely hasn't turned colder, if anything it's been a little of the opposite. It's kinda caught me off guard a bit and I had to remind myself a couple times today to stay the course.
I feel good right now, but I know for sure I'm not out of the woods or even close to it. In the back of my head I keep thinking this is going way too well way too fast for me and I'm a bit worried I'm going to fall on my face. Hopefully that's not the case.
I did get some potentially bad news today that broke me down some in front of her, but considering the circumstances I think it's more than understandable. My grandma called me today asking how things were with me and informed me she got a call this morning from her doctor, who she visited yesterday, telling her he needed to talk to her immediately. She's going back in at 1pm. I'm praying the news isn't too bad, but doctor's don't tell you to come in immediately without giving any more information unless it's some sort of bad news.
Don't relent on the 180 Buck. You won a small victory, but the war is far from over. Like OldGirl said, you will be on a roller coaster ride, and there will be days you think you are losing the battle. Just stay focused and keep changing for the better.
I predict she will straighten up her act and want to reconcile, or she will move in with her mom and take her affair physical. If that happens, go completely 180 Dark. No contact except through lawyers. You can go through her mom for making arrangements for the kids. The idea will be then to completely disengage from her physically and emotionally.
A bit of good news, which is always welcome: Grandma is OK, she (and I) understandably was a bit upset that he made it sound like something awful was happening, but everything is alright.
Today continues with her here. There are certainly plenty of awkward moments, but overall it hasn't been bad. We did some yard work today while the kids played outside, now she's reading a book in the kid's playroom while they play and I'm getting a little work done.
A couple more hours until dinner, followed by a little time with the kids, then putting them to bed and heading out for a bit. Once again looking forward to getting out of the house for awhile.
Have fun. Stay out until 6 or 7 a.m., even if you have to sleep in your car. Come home with a whistle and a smile. It will drive her bonkers. I guarantee she'll call you to find out where you are. Posted via Mobile Device
Have fun. Stay out until 6 or 7 a.m., even if you have to sleep in your car. Come home with a whistle and a smile. It will drive her bonkers. I guarantee she'll call you to find out where you are. Posted via Mobile Device
If I do that she'll be two hours late for work. (Despite her lies in the past month, she really does have to work at 5am or a little earlier most days)
I MIGHT try that one day when she's actually off the next day. To be honest though, I feel more and more like I don't really care if she ever wants to come back to me and as a result don't really care if she's wondering what I'm up to (not that I'll be volunteering any information). I'm not shutting the door on the possibility of us being together again, but it seems like I'm quickly finding out I'll be just fine without her.
It's still shocking to me that not too long ago I thought everything was going well in our marriage and here I am three weeks later saying I'll be fine without her. It truly is a great feeling finding out I have this kind of strength inside of me.
It would be an interesting experiment to help you judge where she is at mentally. Remember, cheaters like her are in a fog, but occasionally they can be shocked into brief moments of clarity. I'm just saying it would be an educational experiment to see if she even notices. If she acts like she doesn't care, then you will know where she stands and you can then move onto the next level of detachment. Posted via Mobile Device
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Re: Moving on, doing the 180 after wife's EA. 
