Well, I had a moment of weakness last night. End result: I know something I assumed.
Her "relationship" has gone physical, and while the exact words aren't there, it looks like on Monday they had sex for the first time. In the e-mail she made mention of them kissing before Monday, but it's unclear if that was before or after we were done (they did go out to the bar the night after we said it was over, she claimed it was just with the other manager from work, but I already knew that was a lie).
I decided to look into phone records after that to see if they talked last night, I wanted to see if she was paying any attention to our kids after I left. I left before the kids went to bed (we had to go pick our car up from the shop, so I left from there, around 6:15), which was her idea, and frankly seemed like a good one at the time. She called him at 6:17 and talked to him for 95 minutes straight. This morning I asked my older son what they did last night, "Mommy talked on the phone a really long time and we played games." I asked if it made him sad that she was on the phone so long, "I don't know, Isaiah (my 3 year old) was sad." So I asked Isaiah if he was sad because mommy was on the phone a long time, "Mmm hmm... I want (he doesn't use past tense properly yet, so no -ed) to talk to mommy."
Tonight we're talking and the wheels will be in motion for her to move to her mom's house. It's one thing for her to go out and sleep with this guy only a few days after our marriage ended, it's another thing for her to neglect our children because she's too selfish right now to think of anything/anyone but herself. I refuse to live under the same roof as this woman. I will finally be talking to an attorney to figure out my rights in case things take anymore of a turn for the worst.
Once again, you guys were right. It's amazing that these stories all follow virtually the same path.
Last night I didn't think I'd get to sleep. It took about an hour, but I did get some sleep, although I woke up pretty early. I'm angry. I sent her a text with the conversation the kids and I had this morning and I'm waiting to hear back (she typically doesn't have her phone on her at work, but she'll likely see it at some point this morning).
Seriously... who the hell is this woman?! It feels like I'm in some sort of crazy dream right now.
It's time for me to step up even more. I refuse to let this stranger drag me down. I refuse to let this stranger hurt my children.
How does one become a liar suddenly? Whatever happens to minimum decency. She couldn't even wait until the marriage ended or at least you were living in separate places ? So much for married for 8 years. Whatever it is, she does not have one speck of respect for you. That is obvious. She was texting him, she is having sex with him while still living with you.
This is how amicable divorces turn to bitter divorces I guess.
So are you going to confront her about the sex too?
When they are in an affair nothing else matters to them. Not their spouse. Not their kids. Not even their self respect. You need to protect yourself and your children from her right now. She needs to be removed both physically and mentally from the equation until she starts acting like a responsible person and mother.
Yes, all the people close to me know the truth. I know people keep telling me to expose her, but I still just don't see the point. I don't care if those people know and I don't care if she ever "comes around". I'm truly sick of being around her and all I want right now is for her to be gone so I can move on with my life.
So we had a conversation earlier tonight where I told her I could no longer live under the same roof as her. I also told her if I heard from my kids again that she spent her night on the phone with him while she was supposed to be paying attention to her children that there would be problems. When we parted ways last week we agreed that no one enters their lives unless we've been with that person a long time and ONLY after the other parent signs off on it. My kids hearing an hour and a half of conversation between them, hearing **** like, "I miss you", etc. is a violation of that agreement. Kids aren't stupid and they will certainly pick up on things from those conversations. She agreed, but I'm not sure if she understood or if she was trying to avoid conflict.
We will be working on details like time with kids and financials either tomorrow afternoon or Sunday. Either way, starting tomorrow night, she is staying at her mom's house... well, I guess I should say, she won't be staying here.
It's going to be TOUGH to wake up knowing she will no longer be under the same roof. I know it will be a reality check for me and will show me where I truly stand emotionally. Especially knowing that from what I can gather she'll be staying at HIS house Sunday night (she said she's dropping the kids off Sunday afternoon and going "out"). In the end, I know her being gone is what has to happen and I know it is the best way for me to move forward with my life.
The same thought keeps going through my head over and over, so I keep repeating it on here... wow, what a difference a month makes. I can't believe how quickly my life has changed.