The date went superb! It started out with just being laid back and not all over each other or anything. We went for a long hike around a large lake near here and kissed at a beautiful vista. I guess we did everything people say not to, but I could feel it was right.
We talked a lot and really hashed out a lot of things that we were each bothered by. Talked for maybe 10 hours straight total.
We went to dinner at our favorite Thai place and laughed a lot
I told her that her leaving was the best thing that ever happened! She was very surprised because she thought I would hate her or resent her.
We are going to take it slow and build up to moving back in together if that's where it leads. Neither of us is willing to go back to the living hell we created for each other before so I think that's a pretty healthy attitude.
All in all I'm hopeful that we will reconcile and change what we need to change and move on with our life together.
I appreciate the advice but not kissing, hugging, or touching her would have pushed her further away. My lack of affection was one of the big problems to begin with and I wanted to acknowledge that and many other things.
thanks for the comments and advice! Keep it coming!