04-10-2012, 09:51 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
| | The Guilt...
Sorry all, I am chatty tonight.
I have a struggle. It is really silly. Just want to understand it better through different eyes.
I am getting excited about my new life. I am getting pumped about the time that I am going to have to myself. I guess I am seeing the silver lining. I mean, when I do not have my daughter, WHICH IS GOING TO SUCK, I can do whatever the hell I want to do. I mean anything. Ballgames, Hockey Games, Work out Naked, poop with the door open, etc. (haha kidding)
Now, I have a small guilt inside me, because I feel like I am excited about not having my daughter. It is such a conflicting emotion that I do not understand it. I did not chose this road at all. I did not cheat. I did not remove myself from my daughters life on the days she is going to be with her mother.
But, I mean, it just feels wrong to be excited.. Because during those moments I am losing the most precious thing in my life.
Does anyone ever get this?