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Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

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Old 04-14-2012, 12:16 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: OMG I really needed somone!

Mama,
You will be fine, you deserve everything you are looking for. You have no idea how good that made me feel that you listed me as a type of guy you would want.
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Old 04-14-2012, 12:30 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Keep your chin up Momma. Things will start going your way one day. Just be patient. There are real people behind these words on your screen and we care about you.
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Old 04-14-2012, 12:57 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Default Re: OMG I really needed somone!

I'm pretty new to this site and I read lots but I don't post much. Your posts are ones that I consistently read. There are good guys out there and one will find you. You will get the love you deserve.
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Old 04-14-2012, 05:03 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Default Re: OMG I really needed somone!

Mama, I would love to have children like yours to get me through my darkest hours. Hope you feel better soon.
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Old 04-14-2012, 06:56 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Default Re: OMG I really needed somone!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamatomany View Post
I want a guy like so many of them on here... Bandit, Out of the Blue, Proud, etc I want a man who is done living their childhood. I want a man to be a man, to take care of me ... put me in my place when needed and cuddle me when I needed but not be to macho to let me do the same.

I want security (emotional etc). I want to feel sexy.

I don't want to nag or feel like a nag just to get him to do anything around the house (in or out). I want a partner who can help w/ decisions. I want a partner who can hold up the conversation.

I want sex. My stbxh was good. He knew what I liked and I thought I knew him pretty well. How on earth is this going to work or be possible finding w/ someone else?
Mama, it's an honour to be included in your group of TAM men. Believe me, there are lots of us out there, just as there are lots of good women. You just need to find them.
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Old 04-14-2012, 07:28 PM   #36 (permalink)
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keep your chin up momma. Things will start going your way one day. Just be patient. There are real people behind these words on your screen and we care about you.
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ditto
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Old 04-14-2012, 08:25 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Mama, it's an honour to be included in your group of TAM men. Believe me, there are lots of us out there, just as there are lots of good women. You just need to find them.
I do know that there are lots of good, strong, loving men out there. You are the three I interact w/ the most right now ... but there have been others (don't take that wrong ). I just know that there are so many men who have been through so much and yet still want their family units together and want their wife to be their partner for life. Like JayB, SD, so many...
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Old 04-14-2012, 08:28 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Default Re: OMG I really needed somone!

mama I know it works both ways for me...makes me so deeply sad that my stbxh is not one of those men who would fight for his family...do anything for his children...and then on the other side it gives me hope that there are men who really do feel that way and I hope should I ever brave putting myself out there that by then I've worked on myself enough to find one of them!
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Old 04-14-2012, 09:02 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Default Re: OMG I really needed somone!

im just getting caught up on the thread- mama what you said about what kind of man you want fits my desription exactly as well, you hit the nail on the head and someday me, you and melissa will all find that kinda man.
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Old 04-14-2012, 09:22 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Default Re: OMG I really needed somone!

Mama...when you are ready, I know that you will find a man that honors and loves you as you deserve. You seem like an amazing person...and you will find love. Just keep your "eye on the prize".

I, myself, am in a really,really good place right now. I have finally reached the point of "indifference" towards my stbxh. I don't care who he boinks or what he does in his free time--just as long as he takes care of my son on the weekends that he has him...and as long as he pays me child support. He is simply a 'bank' to me now.

He officially moved out in October. (...although,we were living apart in my house since last August). I am just so ready for this to be overwith. Unfortunately, I have to be separated and living apart for 1 year before I can get a divorce in my state. But, I would sign the papers today if I could. I am done.

I have been "looking" around at other guys lately....and i have noticed that there are a lot of good ones out there. You'll find one! ...just keep moving forward.
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Old 04-14-2012, 09:28 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by OutOfTheBlue View Post
Mama, it's an honour to be included in your group of TAM men. Believe me, there are lots of us out there, just as there are lots of good women. You just need to find them.
Honestly, I had reasons to pick you three and I should have included a few more...

You, OutoftheBlue - well, who could not be turned on by the love you talk about having for your wife, your strength, accent w/ a loggers body!! Especially once you have passed Brad Pitt status/age. I am looking for a mature man who knows how to love, please, talk and treat a woman. I am sure there is much more to you but just the interaction we have had has been fun (right there an attractive characteristic).

Proud, you show loyalty, romance, sensitivity, active parent, and who couldn't love how much you are involved in your family!

Bandit.45- You are a man who will say what he thinks and let us have it when we need it. I am thinking you'd be good with a whip and in a kilt! Yeah, there's some dream material for you!! I believe you are more sensitive than you let us think.

All three of you bring humor, sensitivity, and show the love you have felt. I could keep going but tax day is approaching and I am doing ppls taxes .... as they give me info ... so gotta just let it go for now.

There are some great guys here.... Calvin, Jay, SD, et al.
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Old 04-14-2012, 09:37 PM   #42 (permalink)
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This is so much of a nicer discussion than our normal wallowing!!!!
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Old 04-15-2012, 12:32 AM   #43 (permalink)
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Oh and I took a huge step... one of the only ways we communicated was FB. I just blocked him (and secretly hoping my children will too).
I felt childish and realized the only way he knows what's going on w/ his kids is through FB, so I unblocked him, only to find out he UN-FRIENDED me. I thought, fair is fair... "W"hatever. That was Friday


Today- Saturday- He requested to be my friend... I F'd up and confirmed to quickly! Dang it!! Can someone come and schmack me. I realized as soon as I did it that it was too fast. I had finally finished Divorce Remedy and started on "Rebuilding:When your relationship ends" today. I realized I needed to move on... but it's tax weekend at my house and I want to be outside in the 70s weather/overcast/breezy but no here I am doing taxes... so I confirmed his d@mn friendship and need to let my screw up go.

I could use a good spanking though
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Old 04-15-2012, 12:37 AM   #44 (permalink)
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Pull down your knickers and bend over!
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Old 04-15-2012, 12:45 AM   #45 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamatomany View Post
I felt childish and realized the only way he knows what's going on w/ his kids is through FB, so I unblocked him, only to find out he UN-FRIENDED me. I thought, fair is fair... "W"hatever. That was Friday


Today- Saturday- He requested to be my friend... I F'd up and confirmed to quickly! Dang it!! Can someone come and schmack me. I realized as soon as I did it that it was too fast. I had finally finished Divorce Remedy and started on "Rebuilding:When your relationship ends" today. I realized I needed to move on... but it's tax weekend at my house and I want to be outside in the 70s weather/overcast/breezy but no here I am doing taxes... so I confirmed his d@mn friendship and need to let my screw up go.

I could use a good spanking though
It doesn't pay to be mean and cold yourself. In some ways i think that is just wrong.

There's much worse you could have messed up. Take it as he saw his error and tried to fix it with a friend request.

In my opinion fb causes too much hard ache anyway.

Be good to yourself and do what you need to for you and the kids. I'm seeing a similar pattern in your behavior to my own right before I hit rock bottom last year. Dont let it drag you down....from experience, its been a b"@#& digging out of this hole.
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