Oh I also forgot to add that I discovered her profile on one of the free dating websites; to read it just made me sick. God how can people (men and women) just completely change like this?
Dunno. Clearly she's buggared. My ex-wife kinda just snapped, but she was a good actor up to the point I got the bomb dropped on me. She even told me that she loved me the morning before she did it.
Its ultimately a coping mechanisim, I think. In order for them to cope with the guilt that they are undoubtably feeling, they do their own 180 of sorts. Start acting completely differently than they ever had before.
So she hid it for ten some years then went bezerk?
I think a big part of the reason your wife went bezerk was the weight loss. When a woman loses a lot of weight, it can bring a lot of really bad things to the surface that were hiding for years.
It's kind of like those shows you see on TV about people who win the lottery, and it ruins their lives. For a woman who's been heavy for a long time, losing a lot of weight is like winning the lottery. Suddenly, you're not invisible to men anymore. If you don't have a strong foundation ( moral, boundaries, etc.) you can go bezerk.
So let's recap my "amazing" wife and how she acted since this all came out.
1. Two days before she gave me the "speech" she was already texting someone, how do I know...because she mistexted my assistant manager the text meant for the other guy, aka "just friends"
2. Two days after I moved out (on 12/21/11) she went out on a "just friends" date with this guy
3. The "just friends" guy has two kids....she had his kids play with my kids at our house. I quickly put an end to this.
4. One Sunday morning I thought I would surprise stop over to say hello to my kids before work, yeah I got a surprise alright....saw the other dude's truck in my driveway. My wife then called to say that he was there overnight because he came down with the flu, and was sick and puking.
5. A couple times since she said she wanted a divorce she tried to make out with me, I called her on it, she said she was confused but still wanted the divorce.
6. Her value system has completely changed; every time she doesn't have the kids she is out and about where the kids can't even get ahold of her to say goodnight, it always goes to her voicemail.
7. Just last week she called to tell me she wants me to know she will always be there for me if I need her, that she wants to be friends with me, etc.
* Nice woman huh????
Yep, she's trying to put it all over your face. She's mad/angry that you left her, not necessarily at her actions.
Your best bet is to just turn a blindeye or not see her at all. Ignoring her might slap some sense back into her or not.
Live for yourself and your kid, your wife will realize it sooner or later what she did but that'll be her problem not yours.
Dunno. Clearly she's buggared. My ex-wife kinda just snapped, but she was a good actor up to the point I got the bomb dropped on me. She even told me that she loved me the morning before she did it.
Its ultimately a coping mechanisim, I think. In order for them to cope with the guilt that they are undoubtably feeling, they do their own 180 of sorts. Start acting completely differently than they ever had before.
Was she ever diagnosed with a mental problem?
Count yourself lucky to avoid more psychological problems decades later.
Oldgirl,
So all these years of her insecurity with her weight was I just the consolation prize for her? Now that she lost this weight she wants the grand prize? Posted via Mobile Device
I didn't even mean to look at her phone really, it was on the counter, I guess it was a naturally reaction. It just seems that every week there is a different man texting her, she is doing her best to replace me, wipe my existence out of her mind.
You know there's nothing stopping you from doing this as well. You're free now, don't fixate on her, start thinking about your own future and who you'll replace her with (someone younger/hotter/loyal?). I know many guys in your position that ended up being way better off than the WS after the dust settles. Once you start dating again you won't care what the hell your ex is doing.
Count yourself lucky to avoid more psychological problems decades later.
No. She did have severe anxiety issues that I always noticed, so I tried to do things to help her avoid that. The counselor that we went to for our one MC met with her once the day before, just to get her side of the story, he asked me later if she'd ever been diagnosed with anxiety disorder. So if its something he noticed too, its probably an issue she's not admitting to herself.
She also had seasonal depression which she'd just deal with on her own, too.
Great now she just texted me to let me know she will be out of town July 27-August 3rd, but she won't say where she is going. This is killing me one little bit at a time.
Great now she just texted me to let me know she will be out of town July 27-August 3rd, but she won't say where she is going. This is killing me one little bit at a time.
She's doing this to hurt you on purpose. Screw that.
See if this resonates with you.
Lately, if I see a text or email from my wife, I get afraid. Afraid of what the content is, will it make me upset, etc.
Great now she just texted me to let me know she will be out of town July 27-August 3rd, but she won't say where she is going. This is killing me one little bit at a time.
Why not tell her you're going on vacation on those dates?
edit: If she starts blasting you, at least you know her true intention's.
@Jayb,
Yes, if a text comes through, or an email....I know it's stupid I get scared. At night when I have the kids, after they are done talking with her, they always ask her if she wants to talk with me, I always get nervous that she will want to. How sick is this?
Oldgirl,
So all these years of her insecurity with her weight was I just the consolation prize for her? Now that she lost this weight she wants the grand prize? Posted via Mobile Device
Proud - I sent you a PM to better explain what I was trying to say
Great now she just texted me to let me know she will be out of town July 27-August 3rd, but she won't say where she is going. This is killing me one little bit at a time.
Separate lives, man. Just get it through your head that there is no "Us" anymore, there is just you and her. You. Her.
@Jayb,
Yes, if a text comes through, or an email....I know it's stupid I get scared. At night when I have the kids, after they are done talking with her, they always ask her if she wants to talk with me, I always get nervous that she will want to. How sick is this?
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Re: why do i even care 
