Proud, I'm sorry you're going through this. Think of her as contaminated cargo. Right now, she is poison. Being near her, you've breathed in some toxins. Go get some fresh air and clear your system. By that, I mean, go do something that sounds like fun and maybe it will take your mind off of things for the day.
I really am getting to the point of hating her! Just to see her now, how she operates under a totally oblivious nature, God I can't believe this used to be the woman I loved, and would've died for. If the roles were changed, I would at least wait until the divorce is final.
But I guess that is because my heart is still functioning, I have morals!
Hate is good. It means you are moving onto the next level of detachment. Don't be afraid of hate. Hate is not the bad, evil thing that some posters here say it is.
Great now she just texted me to let me know she will be out of town July 27-August 3rd, but she won't say where she is going. This is killing me one little bit at a time.
What do you care? Let her go and concentrate on the kids. She's not your problem anymore.
What ever happened to the New Proud? Did he die crib death? I thought you promised all of us you wouldn't be moaning anymore. Is a problem keeping promises one of the reasons your wife ditched you?
For a woman who's been heavy for a long time, losing a lot of weight is like winning the lottery. Suddenly, you're not invisible to men anymore. If you don't have a strong foundation ( moral, boundaries, etc.) you can go bezerk.
This is very very true. There's suddenly a lot of temptation, a sense that you are not the same person you used to be and that the whole world has changed. The terrible thing is this what's going to happen when karma catches up with her. You loved her when she was fat. Mr dating website dou(hebag won't do the same when she gets fat again...or else she will realize that if you hook up with shallow people for shallow reasons, you're not going to find much depth of satisfaction. People do let success get to their heads, but eventually, reality will kick in again. Sorry for the negativity, but your ex is being really dumb and one day, she will see it. The pendulum will eventually swing the other way. Be mad at at her stupidity. Don't be sad. She is not a reward that you will earn for waiting out her infidelity. She is toxic right now. Go find some people to hang out with that are not toxic and you will feel better!
This is very very true. There's suddenly a lot of temptation, a sense that you are not the same person you used to be and that the whole world has changed. The terrible thing is this what's going to happen when karma catches up with her. You loved her when she was fat. Mr dating website dou(hebag won't do the same when she gets fat again...or else she will realize that if you hook up with shallow people for shallow reasons, you're not going to find much depth of satisfaction. People do let success get to their heads, but eventually, reality will kick in again. Sorry for the negativity, but your ex is being really dumb and one day, she will see it. The pendulum will eventually swing the other way. Be mad at at her stupidity. Don't be sad. She is not a reward that you will earn for waiting out her infidelity. She is toxic right now. Go find some people to hang out with that are not toxic and you will feel better!
This is just the general "Grass is greener" mentality. They want to get out and try new things because they've gotten bored. Once they figure out that its not, that these new people won't put up with their BS the way that we did... yeah, thats going to be a rude awakening. My ex has so many idiosyncrasies that I either put up with or found darling that I highly, highly doubt anyone else will be willing to deal with. Fact of the matter is that now that she's 8 years older than she was when we met, the pool of available men is much shallower. Both literally and figuratively. She's a very attractive woman, so I'm sure she'll have no problem getting picked up, but not many will stay around. I foresee a pretty lonely future for her.
@Jayb,
Yes, if a text comes through, or an email....I know it's stupid I get scared. At night when I have the kids, after they are done talking with her, they always ask her if she wants to talk with me, I always get nervous that she will want to. How sick is this?
not sick, but definitely co-dependent. i know how that feels. you must begin to remove yourself from her, for your own sake. don't go inside when getting the kids, don't read her dating profiles or texts, don't even talk on the phone if she wants to, etc. little by little every day you must let go. it will be ok. better than ok. you will surprise yourself with the strength you discover when deciding to depend only on yourself for happiness. i know!
Hate is good. It means you are moving onto the next level of detachment. Don't be afraid of hate. Hate is not the bad, evil thing that some posters here say it is.
i still say indifference is better. hate takes too much energy that the other person doesn't deserve.
Bandit,
No I did not break promises to my wife, I kept my promises to her.
No, your promise to us:
Quote:
I'm taking this opportunity to announce that on April 5th, 2012 the old Proud has officially died.
I would like to announce that on April 6th, 2012 the new Proud is born. I will live for myself, help others, focus on the good in the world.
Thanks to all my friends who have helped me see the light, especially Bandit, Canguy, JellyBeans, Traggy, Jayb, ThatGirl, OldGirl, and everyone else I might have missed.
I'm going to grab this b**ch called life by the horns and have fun.
Quote:
I know you guys will hold me accountable, I can miss what I had, but realize it's in the past, and I have a better life awaiting me
It is normal to have these feelings considering how new everything is. Your emotions are going to be all over the place if they have not already. A friend told me once you will know when you had enough and when you do it becomes easier to deal with. Deattachement is an odd thing it is sort of like grieving you miss the person SHE WAS when it was good not the person you see in front of you. I think often times we can get it mixed up between the reality of the person vs our preception of what WE wanted/want them to be. That is why your somewhat in shock, it will pass. Going through this is like riding a roller coaster just ride them out (your emotions) until the ride ends but only you know when that ride ends. Good luck to you! Just my 2c.
This is just the general "Grass is greener" mentality. They want to get out and try new things because they've gotten bored. Once they figure out that its not, that these new people won't put up with their BS the way that we did... yeah, thats going to be a rude awakening. My ex has so many idiosyncrasies that I either put up with or found darling that I highly, highly doubt anyone else will be willing to deal with. Fact of the matter is that now that she's 8 years older than she was when we met, the pool of available men is much shallower. Both literally and figuratively. She's a very attractive woman, so I'm sure she'll have no problem getting picked up, but not many will stay around. I foresee a pretty lonely future for her.
This is just the general "Grass is greener" mentality. They want to get out and try new things because they've gotten bored. Once they figure out that its not, that these new people won't put up with their BS the way that we did... yeah, thats going to be a rude awakening. My ex has so many idiosyncrasies that I either put up with or found darling that I highly, highly doubt anyone else will be willing to deal with. Fact of the matter is that now that she's 8 years older than she was when we met, the pool of available men is much shallower. Both literally and figuratively. She's a very attractive woman, so I'm sure she'll have no problem getting picked up, but not many will stay around. I foresee a pretty lonely future for her.
Makes sense, but this is exactly the type of thinking I'm trying to outgrow. The day I stop thinking of this stuff is the day I've moved on and gotten her out of my system. The day this no longer matters. The day my happiness takes priority over what I've lost.
It is normal to have these feelings considering how new everything is. Your emotions are going to be all over the place if they have not already. A friend told me once you will know when you had enough and when you do it becomes easier to deal with. Deattachement is an odd thing it is sort of like grieving you miss the person SHE WAS when it was good not the person you see in front of you. I think often times we can get it mixed up between the reality of the person vs our preception of what WE wanted/want them to be. That is why your somewhat in shock, it will pass. Going through this is like riding a roller coaster just ride them out (your emotions) until the ride ends but only you know when that ride ends. Good luck to you! Just my 2c.
-Kris
This is my every moment. Been like this for a month.
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Re: why do i even care 
