04-17-2012, 10:47 AM
Join Date: Apr 2012
| | My wife says she wants a divorce. Any help appreciated?
So I'm new here and have read a lot but I don't understand some of the abbreviations etc. I'm sure my situation is not new but I feel it will help to start my own tread.
I'll start at the beginning and work thru. (may jump around but I'll try my best)
Found nude pics in the recycle bin on our laptop we share. Pics that look like what you would post online, no face etc. Looked at browser history and found Craigslist surfing, personals section. I asked my wife about it and she said she had lost weight and the pics were for herself. As for the surfing she was curious is all. I am feeling insecure and I say that to her and move on. So I start looking at the laptop more to "see" what is going on. a few days go by and I find she has posted an ad! Looking for a hookup! I don't call her out on it specifically but ask her about it and she drops the bomb. She says she wants a divorce! I can't remember what all we talked about but needless to say I didn't feel good.
We talked again and I told her I was willing to do what ever to make her feel good etc. She said she wants to take the kids and move to TX from IA! I tried to be calm and said we could sell everything and go if that is what she wanted. She thought that would be good so I can be by the kids but we still wouldn't be together. She wanted to rush thru the divorce and move before school starts this fall! My son just turned 3 and my daughter will be 5 next month so I am falling apart thinking about how this will hurt them. I love my kids soo much! So I still thought we could meet in the middle and she could do what she wanted, basically I wanted the easiest solution to make the impact to the kids the easiest. A week went by with this mind set and she went out with her friend (that is what she told me anyway) got home around 4:30! So I snooped around while she was out. I found condoms in her old purse and we don't use those so who are they for? I couldn't believe it! She divorced her first husband because he cheated! and now this? So I snooped more and found she has a new cell phone. Found a dildo in plain sight! I took pictures of everything I found, it may help in court? So at this point I need a lawyer but it is the weekend. Monday I call and go see a lawyer. My wife was going to file Tuesday so I have to tell her the fight is on Monday night.
I told her I want the kids and she said the gloves are off! She also said that I am f'ing her and I told her that I wasn't trying to mess with her I was looking out for what is best for me and the kids. I don't want to be a weekend Dad!
She keeps talking to who knows who on her phone and posted more ads etc. I should say I have not told her that I snooped and found stuff. I figure I'll let her keep doing whatever and I'll keep documenting it for court. Being the Dad I will need all the help I can to keep the kids.
I have read so much online I'm surprised my boss hasn't called me into his office yet. I am currently doing the "love Dare" book but doubt it will help and at this point I don't know if I want her back? My biggest concern is our little kids! I feel it is harder and harder to be strong but I have to be for my kids!
March 15th she took a vacation with another couple for a few days. He is a trucker and they could ride up to the mall of america with him etc. Sounded iffy but I trusted my wife. She called and said the plan of his route changed and they were renting a car. Fine, whatever. She came back with presents etc for the kids. To be clear on the story, I had never met these people. I did ask for the gals name and number incase I needed to call. She thought I was being her father (which she hates) I tried to tell her I wasn't but I was being her husband. This should have been a big red flag but I didn't see it at the time.
March 20something, I found the nude pics etc.
March 29th I asked again and she said she wanted a divorce.
April 9th I meet lawyer.
April 10th she files.
April 12th she signs whatever at her lawyers.
April 12th I finally get to talk to my Stepson about how I still care etc about him. (met when he was 6, he is now 20)
April 14th she went out again until 4:30!
Well this is pretty long I'm sorry but I want to get this out.
Please help anyway you can. I got to keep my kids!