How long does it take to feel again?
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
Forums - Online Counseling - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Divorce and Separation »Going Through Divorce or Separation » How long does it take to feel again?

Going Through Divorce or Separation A new addition to our forums, a place to go for sharing and support for those going through divorce and separation.

Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By Mamatomany

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 04-18-2012, 10:17 AM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 6
Default How long does it take to feel again?

I previously posted about my 'Jerry Springer' episode of a marriage back in February and was advised to just let it go and move on. Since then friends and families got involved and we are now about to start divorce proceedings.

I have been trying to live life and move on and I'm wondering when you start to feel anything again? When it becomes real and you realise that you spouse is never going to be part of your life anymore? When you can start to get good night's sleeps and know that just because your STXH didn't appreciate or respect you, someone else on the planet will and you won't be alone for ever. And how to rebuild your self esteem and feel like a person of value, not a doorstep to tread on.

Basically, what is the turning point where you stop feeling like a failure and start to feel in control of your life again?
dontknow2468 is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 04-18-2012, 11:04 AM   #2 (permalink)
Traggy's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 362
Default Re: How long does it take to feel again?

Everyone is different. All of those questions are for you to decide.
Traggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2012, 11:05 AM   #3 (permalink)
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 495
Default Re: How long does it take to feel again?

It is different for everyone. Then, you will get broad, general advice of up to 2 years.

It's been 10 months for me and I'm still lost.
Jayb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2012, 11:25 AM   #4 (permalink)
Dollystanford's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: London, UK
Posts: 3,333
Default Re: How long does it take to feel again?

and yet six weeks and I'm done - it helps that he's exhibiting the behaviour of a 12 year old

you have to take control of it though - remember what you are like as a person, not what you were as part of a couple
Dollystanford is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2012, 11:35 AM   #5 (permalink)
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 242
Default Re: How long does it take to feel again?

My wife hit me with the divorce word 3 weeks ago tomorrow. She is secretly cheating and going on craig list for hook ups. I didn't believe our marrige was bad at all but it is clearly over now. The first week I didn't eat much or sleep. I would go to work and surf all day trying to find answers how to fix this. As that week went by and she went out I snooped around and found disturbing things that are making me understand it is over. My biggest issue is we have 2 small kids. I fear the future for them more than me. This woman is the only one I have known. Never been with another. It is / will be real hard for me to move on. I know some of the things she has posted on craigs and I want to bust into our bedroom and show her I can be that guy but she doesn't even want me to see her naked let a lone have sex etc. I asked her for sex once since. Easter I tried to do it but I had trouble because I knew she was discusted by the idea.
Sorry I'm getting off point.
You really have to make a specific decision to move on and see that you have to be happy in the future. You have value and are good in many ways.
This is easy to type but hard to do. Somedays I feel I have started to move on but other days I slip back. My biggest issue is I'm still looking for more evidence to use in court. When I find things it hurts and I slip back.
I want the kids! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2012, 12:39 PM   #6 (permalink)
Mamatomany's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 761
Default Re: How long does it take to feel again?

It does have to be a conscious decision. It takes work and know that it will take time and sometimes there will be backslides. Forgive yourself and think about what you can control today. Then take control of it.
Mamatomany is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I feel like the end is long over due, but he can't accept it... Unhappily_married Considering Divorce or Separation 9 11-28-2012 12:47 PM
am I wrong to feel this way after so long? janieh Coping with Infidelity 10 12-16-2011 09:08 AM
to those with a heart and feel like hope is fading its a long long post but read it! beninneedofhelp General Relationship Discussion 4 12-01-2009 10:23 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:

Sponsor Ads

Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:14 AM.

Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage