Mothra777

In case you did not know this is my story: 3 week in house separation and wife on dating sites already?!?

Today my wife is out looking at rental accommodation with my son. So the day that my one and only moves out is getting closer by the minute. Although I have been upbeat and hitting the 180 hard - today I find myself in a bit of a hole. Not so much depression but a lot of bitterness and anger. All the 'how could she?' and 'I did so much for her' stuff that is not constructive at all but I cannot stop it going around in my head. I would still have her back in heartbeat but I have also been finding myself looking for things that have p**sed me off about her over the years and physical attributes that I no longer find appealing about her...is this normal? Is it all part of the process to make it easier on me? I am glad they are out at the moment as it would be hard to keep up the happy 180 demeanor at present.

I am also feeling fearful of the future - financially it will be a strain and I am also not the most social guy on earth. Meeting new people scares the sh*t out of me and even when I am ready to start looking for a relationship again I have been out of practice for 17 years and it terrifies me. I guess I should just focus on the here and now like my counsellor advised but it can be tough to do so now that I am spending a lot of time by myself.

EleGirl

Your feelings are all normal. We all go through them.

Are you going to let your wife take your child out of the family home? How much custody are you planning to ask for?

Have you seen an attorney yet?

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Mothra777

Our son will be with me 4 nights per week and with her 3 nights per week. My work allows me to be flexible enough to drop him off at school and pick him up. So I am pleased I will be getting the majority of the care...if she was taking him away there would be a fight as I have always been the primary carer (he is adopted and I was full time Mr Mom for 12 months when he first came into our care).

Neither of us have had legal advice as we were hoping to do it as amicably as possible until we are eligible for a divorce (12 months away). But I can already see the financial side of things being a factor that could cause issues so I might need to look into some sort of representation.

EleGirl

While you need to wait 12 months for divorce, can you file earlier? This would clarify a lot of things. You are in a state of limbo right now and anything can change.

Seeing an attorney right now to get adivce now could go a long way to helping you make the right decisions. You don't even have to file for divorce but instead just get advice.

There is a lot of good info about divorce on line in whatever state you are in. It's a very good idea to read up on this as well.

I have seen people completely screwed in divorce because they did not seek legal advice early on.

__________________
Surviving An Affair - What Are Plan A and Plan B? 180 for Betrayed Spouses


To Create A Passionate Marriage - Five Steps to Romantic Love His Needs, Her Needs Love Busters

Dollystanford

I think it's absolutely normal to be focusing on the 'bad' stuff and things you found irritating about her - it's a way of protecting yourself against the hurt

it's exactly what I'm going through right now, although I wouldn't have him back in a heartbeat

whether it's healthy or not is debatable but it's made it easier to cope with the rejection

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Originally Posted by Dollystanford I don't sweat....I glisten