Mamatomany

Well, the big panic attacks have subsided and I have made a rw friend who is helping me look at things differently. He has been through a divorce and is offering different perspective. If nothing else it was someone to really talk to on the phone and make some human contact. I actually meet him in person tonight.

I have minor anxiety issues all week but nothing like last couple of weeks. My stbxh and I have talked some this week about him drawing 3k out of our bank and yet expected me to have all the shared bills and mine paid for. He apologized for misunderstanding but not about taking the money.

He wants to do a divorce via the internet - he says we can if it's uncontested. I told him to tell me what he is willing to offer me and we will talk. I don't know if we can actually do it w/o a lawyer so we will see what he is thinking.

I miss so many of you that I am use to talking to and I understand I missed some stuff... it will take me a little bit to catch up.
xxoo

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unsure78

good for u mama, im glad you found a friend i was wondering what happened had not seen you on very much this week
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bandit.45

I'm always thinking about you and praying for you Mama. Keep talking.
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sadwithouthim

Always thinking and praying for you. Glad you have a friend....just don't rush too fast into anything.
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STARTINGOVER@40

You are doing so well Mama, you are an inspiration x good luck x
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unsure78

startingover how have you been doing latley?
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STARTINGOVER@40

I'm ok thanks.. Feel more on an even keel.. Think I am firmly in acceptance mode, which is no bad thing. No more viewers on the house. Trying not to let the fact he is still here throw me. Making plans fir the first time & I need to start acting on them..

How are you doing? Good I hope x
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canguy66

Wishing you the best as always, Mama. The road to a better place and one that offers better options for our future is not an easy one, but definitely one worth the effort. We're here for you anytime you need to vent and need support. Cheers!

hilly2

Hang in there! I have been MIA on here as well. I have learned to take control of my life. I know now that my STBXH will never file for divorce, so I am going to. I , and we deserve someone who will not hurt us and take away our energy!

sadwithouthim

Hi Hilly2

I'm very curious as to your perspective of why your spouse will never file. Its been 15 months for me tomorrow. He wants the divorce but still hasn't filed. I wonder what his wait is for if he wants divorce. Just curious of your perspective on your husbands procrastination.

Thanks.
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hilly2

I think that my husband is an avoider. He never take the responsibility that he had something to do with the end of our marriage. If he does that, then he will have to change himself. If he doesn't have to do anything, then things will stay exactly the same.

I am almost 39 years old, and I need to move on with my life. I want to find the right person for me and be happy. I don't want to give up on my chance to have a family. I refuse to waste anymore time with hoping he will change.
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sadwithouthim

That makes sense. I'm not sure the reason for my husband would be that he's an avoider. I'm not sure why the hell he doesn't file other than that slight chance he really doesn't want the divorce. I can see mine being so erragant that he is letting his pride stand in the way of R. Then again I could be totally wrong and any day now I will get notice.

I'm sorry you are in this difficult situation. I am at least fortunate I have my son so i can see the hurt and anxiety of your age being an addition to bare.

You're in my thoughts.
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jpr

It is good to hear from you Mama....and it is good to hear that the panic attacks have subsided.

I am so happy to hear that you have found a "friend" that you can talk to. Good for you!

hilly2

I am not super religious, but I do believe that God has a plan for all of us. This is all happening for a reason, and some good is going to come out of it. If anything, it has made me love and appreciate myself.

Mommatomany, sorry for the threadcrap

Mamatomany

Hey there Hilly!
Good for you. I am looking forward to moving on too, with or without a friend. I totally get the clock ticking for you... do what you can to move on quickly.

I wouldn't take him back any longer. I am 43 and ready to move on and find happiness (w/o him).

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