Ay yi yi. What a week!
....and it's only Wednesday. geez.
Please pardon my ramblings here. I just chased a double dose of Nyquil down with a half a glass of wine.
Yes, it has been THAT sort of week.
Remember when I said this...
Originally Posted by jpr
This week will be full on more "purging" I think. I need to purge myself of some bad habits that I have acquired due to my recently stressful and chaotic life--too much fast food for me and my son, one too many beers to drown out a bad day, procrastinating on projects at work.
So, I am looking forward to cleansing myself this week. Starting a new beginning--again. Getting back to enjoying my life and the wonderful people in it, and making healthy and happy choices.
Time to clean up and move on.
Well, life happens, I guess and plans change.
I had every intention of getting back on track. Work
I had big plans for work...I was going to get caught up and get some rockin' lessons plans. I was expecting more time for planning this week...but, I inadvertently p!ssed the testing coordinator off by sticking up for myself. Now, I did it in a very assertive, professional, and kind email. I was taking a cue from my counselor...trying to stick up for myself more, trying to be more assertive, trying NOT to be so much of a pushover. ...so, nice little ole me, who always does what she is told and is always super sweet about everything actually tried to be assertive for once.
Well, the testing coordinator is a little ...well...hmmm...let's just say, she can be a little "w"itchy, I suppose. And, my assertiveness backfired, and I was assigned EVEN more work to do. blah.
sidenote: Isn't is a little bit sad that our high school has a person whose sole purpose is to "test" students? Her job title is a "testing coordinator". Each school in our district has one,and they get paid the same as an administrator. Ahhh...The American education system. We sure are great at testing. Health
My kid got sick. I had to miss a couple of days of work. Well, if you are a teacher, you might know how that is. I called in "sick" a couple of days...but, that still means I had to go into work for a couple of hours each day to prepare to be out for those two days. And , with state testing going on, I still had obligations that I had to fulfill....and now I am even further behind at work than I was at the start of the week.
Up all night with a sick kid = sick mom.
So, now I am sick. Real sick.
Remember how I said no more fast food?....does pizza count? We have been eating pizza for the past 3 nights here. Home Organization
yeah. I am sick. ...oh!..and I am dog sitting. ...oh!...and it has been raining every. single. day. here. So, my yard is super muddy. My dog and the dog I am dog sitting love to play...and they loooove to dig in the yard.
2 playing pitt-mixes + digging + mud = A HUGE MESS
I think I have giving these two dogs at least one bath a day for the past 3 days.
I looked at the forecast and noticed that it was going to rain. ...again. So, I decided to mow the grass because I just couldn't stand it anymore...even though I sooooo wanted to just go to bed after I put my son to sleep. My lawnmower's self-propeller stopped working halfway through. ..so, that was quite a workout.
I could go on and on and on...and if you are still reading this, I will take pity on you and stop here.
"Best laid plans."....
....speaking of "laid"
.... I just thought to heck with it all. My week was shot anyway, why not just call up the firefighter and have him come over for a little while?...
....just kidding, ya'll.
We are done. I am done with that experiment. Really.
But, seriously....I just can't seem to get out of this rut. Sure the craziness of this week is par for the course...but, thinking wise and emotionally , I feel like I am stuck in a rut.
My ex's email to me did throw me through a loop last week...probably more than I care to admit. It is was tough. I guess I still do care about him, and how his mental health is....even though I know he doesn't really care the same way about me. He knows that our son is sick and that I am sick, and he hasn't really expressed any concern for my well-being. But, that sort of thing has never, stopped me from caring about him before--and , sadly, I feel myself falling into a familiar pattern...letting my heart feel for him. I can even feel myself slowly putting my rose-colored glasses back on...ugh.
It was so much easier when I viewed him as a narcissistic, poophole.
It is so much harder when I think of him as an actual human being with real feelings.
But, I know that I will shake this off. I know it. I am armed with a lot of knowledge and a greater perspective now than I was before.
I just need to get moving...get moving forward again.
But, that can wait. In the meantime, I think I will have the other half of that glass of wine and watch some really bad reality tv....
Yes, I confess to the dozens of ya'll who are still reading this post: I keep really bad reality tv programmed on my DVR for nights like tonight--when I just want to zone out and watch trash on tv.
Don't ya'll judge me! ...
..we all have our little quirks and bad habits....right?