bandit.45

You're a wanted lady jpr. Look at you!

jpr

Thanks, Bandit. I just have to share this little tidbit ...this guy that is interested in me plays bagpipes in a couple of pipe and drum bands, and he owns two kilts! no joke! ha!

..but I dont think I am ready to jump into another relationship just yet. And I certainly don't want lead anyone on. So, I don't quite know how to respond to the attention I am getting from him.
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Mamatomany

I was having a similar problem and didn't realize it until my friend and I talked last night. What I need right now is a friend who is open to the idea of going slow if something develops later cool, but no pressure on either of us (yes, he felt some pressure and is worried that I have three young kids).

Maybe you can talk to him and just let him know where you are... and that you need to take it slow.

__________________
midlifecrisis-for-dummies

canguy66

That bagpipe and kilt reference reminds me of this joke. What's the Scottish version of The Rolling Stones' "Get Off of my Cloud"?

"Hey, McLeod! Get Off of my Ewe".

Traggy

Well JPR, for what it is worth you are smoking and you like the cardinals. Whenever you are ready you are going to have no problems finding what and whomever you want. Take as much time as you need because they are going to be waiting on you to be ready, not the other way around.

bandit.45

If he likes you he'll wait.

Just tell him what you told us.
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bandit.45

LOL!!

Ahh Scotland...where the men are men and the sheep are nervous!
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jpr

Traggy---that is a super sweet thing to say. I don't think anyone would ever describe me as "smokin'"--but, thanks. That is sweet.

I am coming to the realization, though, that I do have a lot of options. When my ex first gave me the "I love you but I don't love you...blah blah blah...I am boinking a 25 year old girl...blah blah..you suck and I should never have married you ...blah ...blah blah..." Speech, I was devastated. I thought my life was ruined and over. I had an infant son, and I was feeling pretty worthless about myself.

However, I am slowly coming to the realization, that I do have a lot to offer, and that I do have options in my life. It is fun to think about it.

I have sort of been opening my eyes to the world around me. I have never really "dated" before. Really. I have always been sort of oblivious to the advances of others. I never was really good at flirting. But, now, I am having fun flirting. I was just hit on yesterday at my friend's son's ballgame.

I get lonely, and, like most all of you, I miss sex soooooooo much. (It has been over 2 years for me.......embarrassing, right? But, remember, I was pregnant during some of that time, and I was married to a poo-hole. ).

I am really good at taking care of people, being a wife (and everything else that comes with that. )

I know I can call this kilt-wearing, firefighter at any time and he will come right over and I could do the deed. Part of me REALLY wants to do that...like right now! But, I also don't want to break any hearts. I am petrified of using someone else and treating them like poo. I don't want to hurt anyone. And, I have a feeling that this guy really does like me--and that he really wants a serious relationship with me. He is a good guy--but, I don't think he is the right guy for me. And, even if he was the right guy for me, I don't think I am ready for a relationship yet. I just want to meet some new people, make some connections, and play the field a little. I want to see what is out there. Is that really horrible of me to say?

I just really hate disappointing people.
...and I want to do the "right" thing.
...I am going to see my counselor next week, so maybe I will talk to her about it.

Lifescript

2 years? .... ay ay ay.

After years of unhappiness and spouses telling you that you're not good enough (emotional abuse) -- this happened to me and that ILYBNILWY you feel like you have nothing to offer but that's so far from the truth.

It's good to have options and the attention even if it goes nowhere and you have that right now. Good for you.

I have people telling me once D is final they have some women they want to hook me up with, they think they would be good for me. Two friends told me this week. Also another girl, someone I knew in high school contacted me through FB. Seems interested. She has a daughter and is divorced. And she's a dean at a school. What's going on with women in the teaching profession and divorce. What's the correlation?

bandit.45

Just saw your pic JPR. You are a lovely woman. Purrrr...

I think its totally fine for you to want to meet and date lots of people. Try on as many coats as you can until you find one that fits.

You need to set the pace you want, and let the firefighter know you like him but that you are not ready to go steady with anyone. Be up front and lay it on the line with him, and don't be wishy washy. If he truly likes you and respects you, and isn't just out to bed you, then he will play it cool and back off.

jpr

Oh, Bandit.....you have this way with words that just sort of makes me swoon.

"go steady"..."isn't just out to bed you".

It is sort of like you are out of an old-fashioned Western movie. So awesome.

ahhhhhhh...I am so crushing on you.

canguy66

Good for you! As I was reading your post, I identified with much of what you're going through. I'm in the same place - realizing I have options. Can't believe how far I've come in five months.

Me too, or at least being a husband. I know I was not the most romantic guy, but caring, loving, thoughtful, respectful - yep, all there. It's funny that I saw two pics on Facebook about what women consider to be porn: a guy vacuuming and a guy doing the dishes. Geez... I did that all the time and look where it got me! Or, maybe a better way to think about it is to consider where it will get me.

It's not horrible at all. I understand completely. I mean... what's the rush? Better you take the time you need, and I understand about playing the field. Something to look forward to, right?

That would be wise. It's helped me immensely. I think the "right" thing is for you to allow yourself to enjoy life on your terms for a change.

bandit.45

I went to the Gary Cooper School of etiquette. LOL!
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OutOfTheBlue

Ah, I think we are getting to the bottom of Bandit's allergy. I think his allergy to wool is a bit closer to the source than the kilt. Something you want to share with us buddy

OldGirl

Wait just a minute...This guy's a firefighter, he surfs, he plays the bagpipes and he owns a kilt? I think I read a book like this once