scione

I don't know if I should post this in infidelity section or here, but I think it's more about divorce and separation.

Questions to betrayed spouse:

It seems most of us who've been left high and dry found out that their spouses cheated (EA, PA, or both).

The question is what if none of you ever say anything about it. Just leave it alone. Let your spouse do whatever he/she wants. Would your spouse stay and never leave or would your spouse leave anyway?

How far would you go to save your marriage? Would you allow your spouse to cheat on you and never say a word so that your spouse would stay with you and never leave? Would you act as though nothing happen?

There are people that do that and they stay, grow old, and die together. I don't know about happy, but they stay together pretty long time.

Just wanting to know other people's opinion

Jellybeans

No no and hell no.

Mamatomany

I know he has had some kind of A, at first I would have let it go. He was talking/texting/emailing whatever in the house and I wouldn't stand for it anymore (He was begging to leave anyway). I would have taken him back in the beginning now there is no way. I would have wanted MC and to have worked to fix the marriage but he has done way too much damage to it now (time, money, emotions are all a mess because of him). PLUS the way he has not been around for the kids (like he barely remembers he has them and when we have no money for milk he is going out to fine restaurants) with someone or going to the zoo (not w/ his kids!). Yeah, he is losing big time.
Nothing after these 5 months would make me want him back.

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midlifecrisis-for-dummies

reset button

Cheating = no respect.

no respect = no marriage.

You will be together but your marriage would be the sum of a piece of paper meaning nothing.

Don't be used. Do you think of yourself so little?

find Someone to love that will love you back!

That fact that you would consider this as a viable solution shows you need individual couseling for self esteem issues/abuse issues. Get help

Shaggy

You mean denial and rugsweeping? Nope, very bad idea.
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Mamatomany

I would have, if it were quick and he showed remorse, attended MC and showed real effort in the marriage. I had love and history w/ him and 3 young kids. I think it's all an individual choice on what you are willing to do and what you have invested in the marriage. No one is perfect and I put my stbxh waywardness down to the fact he is in crisis, but I refuse to be taken any further down than he has already pulled me, 2 months ago it would have been different. Heck, one month ago, I would have been willing.

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midlifecrisis-for-dummies

NickCampbell

I didn't say anything about it for a few years, and just took them to be "friends."

She continued to talk to him every night, share things about us/me to him, and ultimately I found some sexual things he sent her.

I'm positive they would of continued as they were, until I flat out told them both I knew what they were talking about, they betrayed me as a friend/wife, and they're more than welcome to be together while I move on with my life and find friends/a spouse who respects the relationships I thought I had.

We're working through it, but how anyone can not confront it, I don't know..

gear1903

a month ago i would have said i would just take it, show unconditional love to keep the marriage afloat, and some day the WS would understand how lucky they are to have a BS with such a good heart.

now, after my WS has run away to a different country to 'sort out her feelings' for a month, shown no real remorse for her affair(s) despite me forgiving all of it, and even blameshifting (it was of course my fault - i drove her to have those affair(s)), i'm bitter and doubtful of what true love is. and there is no way in hell i would leave that kind of behavior alone - have them end it or leave the marriage.

i can't imagine such a relationship being healthy, for either party.