Wildflower3

...was so new and exciting! And so WEIRD?? But felt so good!? (Especially since Fiance(e) sounded so annoying and pretentious...)

Calling my STBXH "my ex-husband" or "their father" is so weird and new, not so much exciting.

I've been trying to ease those terms into my vocabulary, but not sure if I really have to wait until the divorce is actually final to say it.

Anyone here going to change their names? I've been thinking about it, but worry it'd confuse the heck out of my kids.

Amazing how none of us ever thought we'd be divorcees.

ES780

Hate the ex, their father terms! I use his name in all circumstances I can.

proudwidaddy

Even though I'm not divorced yet, I've been referring to her as my ex, or ex wife....just so I can start to get used to it. I never thought I'd have to though.
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arbitrator

I truly think that we all go into marriage with blinders on, no matter whether we've been married before or not. I think we are somewhat delusional during that stage of our relationships, because nothing could ever convince me that anything negative would ever happen within the course of that loving relationship.

And yes, it often pains me to have those flashbacks of when we, as newlyweds, so lovingly referred to each other as Mr. X & Mrs. X.

Although the divorce is imminent, I occasionally refer to her as my wife, but have fastly adopted the TAM lingo of calling her either my "STBXW," or just my "future ex-wife."

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Kearson

Yes, I remember all too well how awesome it felt when STBXH referred to me as his wife. Then I realized that once we married, he stopped using my name unless he was mad at me. It was nice at first to feel like I 'belonged' with someone, until I realized that once he had me, he didn't want me anymore

If I'm being honest, I have to admit that I have to stop myself from calling him my ex-husband when I talk about him. Most people don't know we are divorcing, and it won't be for a while, so I can't call him that yet, but I WANT to SOOOOOOOO badly. That's how done I am.

I don't intend to change my name back. I hated my maiden name, and I want to have the same name as my son. STBXH and I haven't discussed this yet, but I'm hoping he doesn't raise a stink about it.

I didn't go into it thinking we'd get divorced, but I knew we had an almost impossible road ahead of us. Turns out it was more impossible than I thought.

doureallycare2

I am having such a hard time with it!!! I’m divorcing him and I still call him my husband, a couple of friends/co-workers have said he's not your Husband anymore and I’m like yes he is until the divorce goes through. He's been my Husband for 35 years; technically he still is so I’m really struggling with when you say he's not. Legally he still is.... and as for the name.. I’ve had his name loner then I had my maiden name. I have two sons with his last name and a grandson. I’ll be darned if I let him take that connection away from me along with everything else he has taken from me over the years.

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Morgiana

I've given a bunch of thought to the name change as well; decided I'm not going to name change because my kids are still in elementary school. I just don't want to deal with that hassle at this point.

Openminded

I don't call my STBXH anything. Not his name. Not "husband." Nothing. I don't refer to him at all (except as "him"). But I'm going to, in the very near future, call him my ex-husband. And smile when I say it.

I'll be counterpoint on the name change (smiling). After 45 years, I want my birth name back. In fact, I can't wait to have it. It will be different from what my son and grandchildren have, yes, but I feel I deserve to totally be "me" again.

Forever Changed

I call her simply 'Soon to Be'.

It's not offensive to her, neither does it sound as 'aggressive' as Soon to Be Ex Wife, or Ex Wife.

I guess once the D is final, I'll call her my ex wife S**** (being her name)