You can't fix the relationship by pretending you know everything already.
I totally agree!
I don't presume to know everything, and I'm under no illusion that life will be rosy from here on out. We both know there is much work to be done to create a healthy functioning marriage, and that the issues that brought us to the point of nearly divorcing need our attention. As I said earlier we are not sweeping the problems under the rug and carrying on in some false state of bliss.
I came here looking for advice and I got a lot of it. I used what I felt was pertinent to my situation, and considered all of it. In fact your response would have been spot on had I heard it a few weeks ago, but my situation has changed.
I don't believe there is any one, absolute way that is 100% right for every situation. All our circumstances are different regardless of their similarities. I don't know everything, that's why I looked for advice here and from many other sources. I know myself and I know my wife, in fact I'm continuing to understand both of us better all the time.
We don't need to be out of each others lives for a year or more, but we do need to be always aware of the problems that brought us to this point. Having that awareness and actively working to change the habits, thought patterns, and perceptions that caused us to pull away from each other is a good start, and we are both wholeheartedly willing to take the steps needed to build a new relationship.
I don't know the future, but so far it looks to be moving in a good direction.