Yep, this is the distinction for me too. Sure, I will learn to deal but I cannot imagine not loving a woman. Coming home to her. Sharing my life with her. Caring for her. This really makes me miss my stbxw.
You know what... I have NO DOUBT that I will fall in love again(I hope it is reciprocated) but I have no doubt it will happen! I fall easy and land hard... I love ....love and I know that it will find me again. Will I think it's soul mates... no. But I no longer believe in that kind of stuff. I do believe that I can find a friend I can love, like, trust, believe in, and have great sex in while respecting the entire time.
Not thinking positive you are. Hope for future you must have. Put positive spin on everything you must. Do or do not. There is no try.
Ok, I've had my geek moment here. Proud, you will get to that point with someone again. Deep down, you know you'll be ok. A positive attitude radiates outward, and attracts others. You've made progress in the past weeks, remember that!
Happiness is a choice and therefore should never be contingent upon our circumstances. It may be difficult for a period to decide to be happy but it is up to each of us individually and I think that I would be happy regardless.
I am only one month into separation after a 17 year marriage that she chose to end and she is already on dating sites. Me, I am so far away from that point! Whilst deep down I am sad, angry and still in shock there is a small part of me that is looking forward to being single but I am not sure how long it will be before I want to love another woman.
I think I read somewhere that if you are left feeling broken after a divorce, you should wait approximately 1 month for every year of marriage...16 months to go for me then.
I think that it's easier to be happy without love.
Companionship and consensual fun seem more desirable to me, but I don't think I have it in me to ever commit to anyone else again or give myself over to love again. Once was enough. It's not worth the risk.
I discovered, while briefly married, that I do want a kid. I'll probably opt for IVF single-parenting by choice or else adoption when I get my life back together.
So much easier to be happy when you don't have to worry about someone else who you probably can't trust anyway!
I am only one month into separation after a 17 year marriage that she chose to end and she is already on dating sites. Me, I am so far away from that point! Whilst deep down I am sad, angry and still in shock there is a small part of me that is looking forward to being single but I am not sure how long it will be before I want to love another woman.
I think I read somewhere that if you are left feeling broken after a divorce, you should wait approximately 1 month for every year of marriage...16 months to go for me then.
Sounds like she may have been done for a while. My ex was done for a year before the separation, which may be why she was able to put on a happy face right after she left. Whether she's happy or has yet to deal with things, who knows. The ease with she severed everything we had was crushing to say the least, but does tell me how much our marriage and I meant to her. When the going got tough, that was one of my "anchor points". Note the past tense.
I know about feeling broken. We have so many pieces to put back together after our lives have been shattered this way. The great thing is that as we heal and get stronger, we do emerge as better people, eventually.
A divorce busting video I saw warned the wayward wives that their men were changing, reading self-help books, discussing their feelings, etc., and essentially were in training to become better partners, boyfriends, husbands to the future women in their lives. It's all about growth.
I have let go of resentment and am open to possibilities. A Zen moment.
I definitely can be happy either way. I am my own best friend. If you can't enjoy and be happy with yourself alone, how in the hell could you make someone else happy?
I have no doubt I'll find love when I really put myself out there. I've learned so much about myself and relationships from my DB efforts, and I am a much better person because of it. It's just a matter of self confidence and being able to trust another woman enough to let her get close enough to me again.
It's a good question, I want to say "yes", but I'm with those who say they want someone to love. I want someone who can love and cherish me, I didn't really feel that way in my marriage. I want to fall in love again, not now though.
And I really don't want to be alone with all my cats and guinea pigs....
I kind of understand what you mean but I think is not a posivite attitude to have scione. Don't let this experience damage you for life. Love is a beautiful thing and is REAL. I will be looking for that special girl but gear myself to be happy if I don't find her.
I kind of understand what you mean but I think is not a posivite attitude to have scione. Don't let this experience damage you for life. Love is a beautiful thing and is REAL. I will be looking for that special girl but gear myself to be happy if I don't find her.
I'm just following the Physics. What goes up must come down. If you find happiness, then there will always be sadness that comes with it. If you are not happy, then you will never be sad and you will never have pain. I'm not saying that everyone should follow this. You should find that special girl that you are looking for. You should not discard love, just because I'm doing it.
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Re: If you never.... 
