Houstondad

As our divorce process nears the finish line I find myself wondering about Mother's Day. The mother of my kids continues to live in Minnesota. She lives with a divorced guy and she spends more time with HIS kids when they visit their dad than her own. She does video chat with them 3x a week and tells them how much she misses them. Does she deserve Mother's day? What do you think? I will have the kids video chatting with her this Sunday, but does it make me want to puke? Absolutely.
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Conrad

Is the chat already set up?

If not, I wouldn't say a word.

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mommyofthree

I do not know the reasons why you are apart BUT Mothers Day is not about how you feel. Its about the kids.

If they love their mom and miss her then yes.Put your feelings aside and do it for them.Thats what will make you a great dad!!

Lon

Agree with mom of three, its about the kids relationship with the mom. HD, I realize in your case she pretty much just walked out and left you with custody, so you are right she doesn't really deserve it... but maybe your kids do deserve to celebrate a mothers day.

As for me, tonight I was going to plan for my son to make a craft for her, then he told me "I already did, I made a birdhouse at daycare". SO alright, yay I don't have to worry about it, its all taken care of.

EleGirl

It's about teaching your children to be thoughtful and loving.

Let them send some time with their mom in chat. If there is going to be a gift make it something simple they make or have them sit with you while you fill out an e-card for her.

That's it. She does not deserve anything big. Buy your kids deserve some semblance of normalcy in their lives.

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papa5280

Echoing the thoughts that it's about the kids, not the mom.

How old are the kids? Mine are 14 and 16. First mothers day after the STBXW walked away from us all to live across town with her sister. She's still involved in their activities, but isn't there day-to-day.

I told the kids that if they wanted to get her something, I'd take them. Just let me know. Now, it's on them to decide how to celebrate the day.

If the kids were younger, I'd guide them more toward actively celebrating. I think of it this way....In 20 years, how will they feel about their actions toward their mom. I don't want them to feel guilty for neglecting her, even though that's what she did to them.

Houstondad

My Kids are 10 & 6. I decided to keep my feelings out of it and the Kids wished her Happy Mother's Day during their chat. Thanks for the advice and reminding me it's about the kids and not me.
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