My stbxh is 6 hours away. Have not seen each other since Jan. He ended things in march. No other woman, he says i nag too much, etc.
I posted a few days ago about wanting to be some what friends because we have kids together and how he is always mean to me by the end of the conversation. One 3 and one who just turned 6 months old. Its just easier to get a long than it is to argue every time on phone. I have read the divorce remedies and i have taken some advice in there about backing off and being positive and i should see a change in him. Well i have backed off and i have been super nice to him. I dont question him about what he is doing and i do not allow him to question me. I have texted him a few times the last 2 days because our 6 month old starts saying dadda, so i sent him a video of that and today i asked him the easiest way to get somewhere. Well the last 2 days we have made small "chit chat" and every time we talk he ends up trying to be sexual with me, trying to sext, etc. I tell him no every time. This is not really like him, he has not been with many women (2 before me) and he just has never been a very sexual person. Now it seems like thats all he ever thinks about. I told him i am trying to be civil and get a long with him but i will not go over the line. Im also not going to have sex with him when he comes up soon to visit our boys. Itd just be weird because he treats me so uncaring and to be honest when he tries to 'sext' it just makes me angry. I do not want to be used or treated like im just a piece of booty. I am always polite and just tell him no i want to be friends and thats going over the line then he says he was just kidding. I am not really sure what to make of this. He also asked me if i wanted to hang out and go to the shooting range when he comes up. I am not sure i should do this because i dont want any false hope as to thinking we can work things out because we cant. He is staying in NC and i am staying in MD and he has told me he is not changing his mind about working things out, he is really done this time.
I do have to admit though, being positive and backing off, not questioning what he is doing, not getting angry when he talks about going out and stuff has really paid off. I feel better about myself and he has been nicer to me.
Regarding the sexting, my STBXH did that to me as well. I moved out about 3 weeks ago in hopes of working toward reconciliation, and everytime we'd text about arrangements for our son, he would always add in a lil something at the end. You're right...all it does is make you angry. If we were still living in the days of when our marriage was good and we were happy, then hey...more power to 'em. But when I've moved out as a last resort because we can't have a conversation without you going off the deep end? No. You've lost your right to be playful and sexual with me. I don't know why they do this. Keep on working on you - you're doing the right thing. Posted via Mobile Device
I have to admit if he was caring towards me and i still felt like he cared about me, id probably fall for it. i tell him all the time i want to mean something to someone not be used for sex. Ugh. Glad im not the only one getting angry by this! Really makes you sorta lose respect for them, doesnt it?
Any sex without a basis of love, compassion, care, and respect for your partner is just two bodies slamming into one another. Animals can do that. You can't respect someone who wants to treat you like a vessel. The sooner he figures that out, the better off he'll be. Posted via Mobile Device
lol the sexting is annoying. i will probably eventually wig out on him (again! lol) and ask cant he talk about anything else with me other than sex? lol.
I dunno if he's trying to use me for sex, im not there so we obviously cant have sex. I dunno if hes doing it because he wants to see if he "still has me" because i have not questioned what he has done. I have even made comments like dont sext me, gotta find another woman for that. And even made a comment today about him being worried about sex so much lately and being woman crazy, but said "youre single so do your thing". Then he stopped talking to me as much, lol. Maybe because i have treated him like i dont care or because we werent talking about sex, i dunno. Men are so confusing, lol.
He ended things with me, so i dont know why he is trying to be sexual with me at all, lol.
Hmmm...ummm...welll...hmmm...my wife is the one doing this to me, and I can't really say it has bothered me nearly as much as some of you, though I can certainly understand where you are coming from. I initially felt the same way, I really did seeing as how she was the one who wanted the seperation, but it's kind of difficult to turn down a 5'3" 120 lb yoga body that is more than eager and willing, but that is a whole other thing that I really do have a lot of actually serious questions about, so will likely start another thread later.
Hope the respect I have found around here is not gone out the window with this post...just being honest.