You know what sucks,is that people who were your friends when you were married, who always hung out with you, who said they would still be theree for you after the divorce....now they are always busy when you ask what they are doing. I get the hint, I'm persona non grata now. Its a lonely feeling sometimes to be outcast. Posted via Mobile Device
You know what sucks,is that people who were your friends when you were married, who always hung out with you, who said they would still be theree for you after the divorce....now they are always busy when you ask what they are doing. I get the hint, I'm persona non grata now. Its a lonely feeling sometimes to be outcast. Posted via Mobile Device
Proud,
I'll be gentle.
The same objective look you have taken at your spouse needs to be taken with your friends.
Don't live with your delusions.
They are what they are.
And, like most people, they're in it for them - not you.
I hear you proud. There are a couple people that I made friends with and introduced them to her.. who only talked to her after this all went down. When they did talk to me they offered no support but I know they supported her. So I cut all ties with them.
They also tell her everything she needs to hear, seeing how with at least one of them I had it out with last year in regards to my family life. He decided to get involved and I told him off, of course we smoothed things over but as soon as this happened he chose his side.
I have a couple of contradictory thoughts about this, Proud.
Are you too negative and constantly complaining with your friends? If so, try to be more upbeat and positive so they do not feel like they have to listen to yet another pity party from you.
My other thought is they either side with your STBXW, or they only relate to both of you as a couple. They may fear the "contagion" of divorce. If that is true, then drop them and make new friends. You do not need that sort of friend in your life.
You know what sucks,is that people who were your friends when you were married, who always hung out with you, who said they would still be theree for you after the divorce....now they are always busy when you ask what they are doing. I get the hint, I'm persona non grata now. Its a lonely feeling sometimes to be outcast. Posted via Mobile Device
I'll play devil's advocate. If you've been relying on the same people or persons too much, it's also draining on them (good to spread the "need" among a few friends). I was careful to to emotionally overburden friends. Not saying this if the case with you, Proud, but it is something to keep in mind. Some friends will be more supportive than others.
You are not a persona non grata.
By the way, instead of asking what they're going, why not be more direct? Instead of asking what they are doing, why not asking something specific, like do you want to see a movie? Want to go out for a beer? Can I be included in your will?
Guess, as usual, I must be the exception. Most of the couples that we were friends with did disappear at the beginning of our debacle. They retreated, rather hastily, from both of us. Over the past year, though, a number of those friends have sought me out and we are now re-establishing the friendships, on my terms and at my speed. Some were dealing with their own "drama" (seems cheating is running rampant these days) and just kept their crap seperated from mine. Others have revealed that they aren't worth the powder needed to blow them up. I have found that it is in my power now to pick and choose who I wish to reconnect with and who no longer deserves even a nanosecond of my most valuable time.
Because if its a man they will follow her if you guys aren't that close. It's what one of mine did. He's now free to flirt away even if it goes no where and she is in the mind set to take it all in Posted via Mobile Device
Can its not my ego, I was just trying to understand. My ex makes herswlf out to be more attractive than she really is. She tries to hard for the fake beauty Posted via Mobile Device
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what hurts the most 
