nursemama

To start off I am devastated and hurt beyond words. I have only been married 10 months. This is both our second marriage and we fell in love instantly and things went fast with dating, engagement and marriage. We both have children from previous relationships which we were working on blending our family. To make a longer story short, we separated in January after 6 months of marriage due to constant fighting and my husband had started to abuse pain pills. I initiated the separation and meant for it to be short term while we figured things out and work on the pill abuse situation and the fighting/ways to communicate. He moved in with his mom and demanded wedding ring back and necklace he bought me for xmas. I reluctantly gave it back. Things slowly spiraled downhill. We kept working on marriage and seeing each other, talking daily, went to counseling, etc....I was leary first month or two about working things out due to his previous lying and the pill abuse especially since i Had my children to think about. However, I didnt want to give up because we were married AND had a child on the way. During this time he lied to me about a few things and we still continued to work on stuff. After a big blowout in March one night we thought we were both done but ended up talking within a coupld of days and resumed trying again. During this time I knew his attitude had changed and ended up finding a lot of emails he had from a dating site he had joined. I was devastated and wouldnt have dreamed of crossing that line like he had. He said it was all talk and he'd never met anyone and he would delete if I was still 100% into this. At first I couldnt get over it but then did continue to try. He never deleted it and added more women to his social network and was in contact with women by phone. I knew this and still kept trying and he was trying too, well "half-ass" and said he'd delete the facebook etc... but it would only last a day or so. He apologized for not telling me about the dating site but said he didnt know how and liked the attention he got. I questioned him about several women about talking to them etc... and he denied most of it. Two women I talked to told me everything they talked about and realized he was feeding them a sob story about our separation and I was this bad person and didnt want him, etc.... He continued to fool me and would tell me how much he loved me and we would spend time together and be intimate, etc... even up until two weeks ago. I got a call two weeks ago at 3 a.m. from him telling me we were done and he'd met someone he really liked and I should be happy for him and let him go. I was floored! It turned out being a girl I had asked him about previously, and just so happens she is a stripper. He had been texting her for a week or two and then met her in person that night. It has been two weeks since that and he now says he is in a full blown relationship with her and he wants nothing from me and only let him know about the baby. He is now saying I hid things from him and I'm the liar and I'm a bad person, etc.... I've been totally faithful and loyal BTW! There was one instance of a man from my past texting me after my separation asking how i was and it was brief. No contact was made or any further talking or texting was had. I didnt tell him about it right away but ended up telling him after he questioned me and now he assumes there was more and I'm horrible person. I love my husband and am blown away with any accusations and he is now saying he's not sure he is 100% father of this child which is RIDICULOUS AND HIGHLY OFFENSIVE! we have gone from talking daily and seeing each other as often as possible to no contact besides the crying and screaming I have done to him from being so hurt and him contacting me about the baby. I do NOT know how to overcome this or get over it and need advice badly. I feel like I am all alone and pregnant. He doesnt care about me or my health and has flipped his feelings 180 degrees and basically shows nothing but hate for me and I am not sure if it's rejection, the thought of him being with someone else, being hormonal and pregnant, or what exactly but I feel very depressed and cannot function well with anything. I cry daily, nauseous, cant eat, and think about him and us constantly. I would like to know if anyone has similar situation or any thoughts. Be brutaly honest and ask any questions. Theres so much to tell and I know this is very long but hard to fit all the details in one setting of typing. So sad