Nsweet

Betrayed spouses, what do you know about the OM/OW that shows they are NOT better that YOU?

*This is an exercise to help you with self confidence and see that they are not better than you! At the very least the AP is a cheater, right? And so you have at least one thing on them.

Long story short my wife left me after nearly a month and a half after coming home from the Navy, and divorced me for the OM. Boo-hoo! Now what really helped me recover during the separation and divorce was finding out about this guy and how flawed he is.

Here's what I do know....
The OM is:
-23 and works as a fry cook at a place that doesn't drug test.
-Smokes a lot of weed, at least a pack of cigarettes a day, and drinks heavily.
-Bipolar and refuses to take medication
-Has aspirations of one day becoming a rock star but doesn't have the musical talent.
-Shops constantly at Hot-Topic and dresses like a teenager.
-Still rides a skateboard and performs tricks to impress people.
-Covered with poorly thought out tattoos. Has tramp stamp.
-Multiple facial piercings. Tongue, nose, eyebrow, etc.
-Flirts constantly with other women.
-Lazy and bad hygiene.
-Does not financially pitch in or support her or her family.
-Calls her brother a f@ggot jokingly.
-Annoying attitude her friends all despise.
-Both sides of their family know about their affair because they so stupidly posted everything in public on myspace and facebook.

WOW that was fun! At the very least I can safely LOSER by popular consensus and feel better about myself and my loyalty to my half of the marriage.

Now what do you know?

FrustratedFL

OW -
- 48 years old but looks 60
- 4 DUIS on record
- Drug charges on record
- embezzled from her boss (my next door neighbor)
- 2 evictions on record
- worked at every bar in town over the last 16 years
- carried on a relationship with a married man for 2 years texting - - over 8000 messages before I kicked him out.
- Neither STBX or her answer the door for anyone - they hide in her shack

STBXH took this scum over me -
- Faithful wife and bf for 16 years who has a secure job, worked my entire marriage, equally funded every purchase, managed all his business books, arranged vacations, hosted many family parties and was loyal and loving through all his tyrates.
- losing his health insurance
- losing his home that I am loan modifying
- lost his moral reputation
- lost most friends
- very fragile relationship with his daughter - his doing not mine

Monumental mistake!!!

cherokee96red

All I know is that I'm not the one living with and screwing someone else's husband and ultimately helping to destroy a marriage and family!

I don't need to, or care a fig, to know anything else else. That one thing is all I'll ever need to know that I am better than the Trampasaurus Wrecks.

__________________
I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Dollystanford

don't know anything, not interested
he won't find anyone like me - he knows it and I know it

__________________
Learn how to talk proper, know what I mean?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dollystanford I don't sweat....I glisten

CandieGirl

...that they slept with a married man/woman?...

Seems that that would be enough to know...

Lon

I don't want to know or else I may just feel more inadequate.

but from what I did find out:

1st guy, tall muscular, black, big lips my ex loves, he was a roofer that went from job to job, had a daughter he said is the world to him, plays the field obviously

2nd guy: also black, from uganda, muscular, big puffy lips, loves soccer, camping, has tons of friends is popular, also a player, also apparently very religious.

The only thing I have in my favor is I'm loyal. Of course I have tons of great qualities - pretty much everybody does, atleast those that one would find attractive.

Her new bf is also black, smart (is a molecuar biophysicist) muscular, but looks a little shorter than me yada yada.

If I think about it it only makes me feel all the more insignificant, so I try not to think about it.

joe kidd

What do I know? That the SOB is not me.....and I'm freaking awesome.

__________________
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea. Swimming through sick lullabies. Choking on your alibis

Lon

oh great after this thread got to overthinking, went and checked her bf' fb page - silly me! make me stop.

Anyways did get a chuckle (along with slight aggravation) at all the inspirational text/photos about love and relationships (the kind that make their way all around fb) and thought it was hilariously hypocritical that my ex liked all of them - stuff like "don't trust someone who lies to you and don't lie to someone who trusts you" type stuff.

I also got a little chuckle that they've been together since january and still has his status as single. He also lives in a different city, so I wonder how that is working out for him.

Stupid part about me obsessing like this is that I wouldn't even take her back, nor am I even attracted to her anymore - it's just pining for what I thought I could have had I guess. Someone, quick 2x4 me.

DanF

She chose me after making a huge mistake.
I chose her after making a huge mistake.

OM?
Lost his house
Has to work two dead end jobs to make ends meet.
Filed bankruptcy at least twice
Has been sued a couple of times for not honoring contracts

OW?
Hooked on meth
Daughter a convicted felon for dealing drugs
Owns NOTHING
Lost her son due to her neglect and drugs

These were all true a couple of years ago, I have no idea what's happened since then.

Nsweet

Very nice everyone. Well done.

FrustratedFL,
One thing I would like to point out in affairs is that WS and AP both cut off ties with friends, family, and coworkers to keep their relationship as guilt free as possible. This act of avoiding responsibility and constant lies wears them down and severely hurts everyone. Every once in a while they will try to throw crumbs at friends and family members they've shunned to keep a foot in the door, but by then they're usually in more trouble with them than they ever were with you. What momma don't know..... mamma already knows, and sister, and brother, and half the family, along with everyone at the salon, work, the gym..... That'll give them a reason to hide. I've read a few stories about the WS going trying to back to the family after a bad breakup with the AP and the BS wouldn't take them back, then neither would the heartbroken family. Cheaters cheat everyone.

Jellybeans

Re: this thread question - why even care? It's not a competition.

Nsweet

Because, no matter how betrayed you feel by your spouse's affair you've already one the competition. At the very least you never had to lie or pretend you were someone else to keep your WS's affection. You are not the cheater and actually care about marriage by coming here. That's a winner in my book!

Jellybeans

Ok. Then why even ask the question is what I meant. If you already know you are "morally" better, then why need to think of all the ways you are better?

__________________
Exposure Letter

Letter to OM/OW

Nsweet

I think the BS's here know the OM/OW is not better for the most part, but I wanted them to show it for themselves and keep themselves from denying what's already in front of them.

pidge70

For some it can also be like picking a scab. Why bother making something hurt again when it is starting to heal?
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