05-21-2009, 08:23 AM
Join Date: Apr 2009
| | Re: Please tell me What this means????
Since I'm not your husband and don't know him personally I'm not sure why he would do this for certain. But if I were him, it just might seem easier to leave the whole situation. I was like Picabu's H for a while just moping around the house as I let the stress of life get to me and the pressures I felt on me (a vicious cycle, but that's another story). My wife showed me she cared and tried to get me to talk, but I was withdrawing, not intentionally, but withdrawing nonetheless. When she finally pushed me to the limit I finally realized what I was doing to myself and to her. I was making her feel unwanted, and I am ashamed of that. Now it is going the other way some what. She is angry that it "took me so long to see this" and I'm working on getting my happiness back for me first, then for her and then my son.
Prior to this realization and since there have been times that I just want to run away because it just seems easier on her to let her find happiness without me. Maybe that is what your H was doing because maybe his love is that deep and realizes sometimes that old cliche' that says if you really love someone, then you've got to let them go and be happy and if they really love you back you won't lose them. So he might have been letting you go, to see what happened and then the seperation papers came and he freaked.
His chit chats just might be because he is afraid or doesn't know how to start talking about his feelings with you. I know I was a bad communicator with my wife there for a while and I'm trying to learn to be a better listener and communicator. It is tough because I'm not a real talker and she seems so angry still (her dad's side of the family holds grudges - one has been going on for nearly 50 years). And she won't tell me she is in it for the long haul (she did say it before but not in the last two months). All I know is how I might react, but I'm not him.
Hope this helps. In then end whether we are men or women, can't we all just remember we can't read each others minds. Be strong.