endofstory

It’s been a while since I’ve been here at TAM, but today I just have to vent.
Two weeks ago our separation was finalized after my ex husband has been fence sitting in 7 months.
I told him a month ago to finalize this separation that he has wanted and since he has found himself a great woman, well why wait to file?
I told him he can do WHATEVER he wants with his life, but file this damn separation. Obviously this provoked him. He filed and then blamed everything on me again…
His words was : “ well..people like you makes people like me take the choices I’ve made “. What an ass he is!!!

Well,on sunday…after not contacting him at all.. he called to ask about the children. About how they where and sounded like a concerned father..
Hmm…he has’nt seen or talked to his children in 4 months! No childsupport either and I’ve realized that this sh%#¤ of a man has some real problems with himself.
It’s really funny that he called on Sunday, because I was at a concert and a party afterwards on Friday and I lost my voice. So I sounded like I’ve been partying like hell all weekend.
This made him ask me what has happened to my voice and I said “ Oh..well..it’s been one of those weekends “ and I laughed a little bit..Then he was quite for a few seconds..
I kept our conversation as short as possible and I was “nice”…

But then I got an email from him a few hours after this phone call..
He started by writing that he didn’t really want to send me an email so we would’nt have any contact anymore , but since I’m his childrens mother that he wrote this email anyway.

Then he rambled about how he wished me all the best in life..from the bottom of his heart. He wrote this same line 3 times…and then he wrote I hope you’ll find a man you deserve..
WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!!!
First of all..does he REALLY know the HELL he has put me through for a year now??? He left me and the children high and dry, leaving nothing but memories of him..No help..NONE what so ever!
Not even ONE dime! I’ve been in a hospital twise for being so exhausted, nervous breakdown and so much weight loss. I have a 4 year old struggling with the fact that she has’nt seen or talked to her father for so long
Asking every single day where her father is…Who facing this everyday and comforting a heartbroken 4 year old? Me..and it breaks my heart everytime to see my child like that.. Where is he ??? Then he goes having an affair and rubbes it in my face, then threatens me and my family for half of the investment we made while we were still together.. He threatens me and
my family for 6200 US dollars while he owes me almost 12000 US dollars in childsupport !!
Then he serves me this crap and BS about wishing only the best for me ???? How about getting his F#¤%#¤ act together for his children. Start paying childsupport or HELLO how about not threatening me and my family.
Not once in this crap email did he apologize for his behavior or mention starting helping me out with the children..starting being a responsible father. I didn’t reply this email…

I’m fed up with his crap! His BS ! For a while now I’ve been so patient, for a while I’ve even felt so sorry for him. I still do..I pitty him ! For the life he gave up, for the wonderful children he left behind.
Everyone is telling me to sue him and demand all the childsupport he owes me, but I haven’t listened..I’ve been so considerate not wanting him to owe the government so much money…
But I talked to my lawer yesterday. We’re ready to sue his ass if he tries pressuring me for money again or tries anything stupid.
He has put me through sooo much..
But I’ve hit rock bottom for what he has done, I still struggle sometimes and I get sad. Still I’ve grown a little and taken one step at a time, seeing the wonderful children and people I have in my life.
Appreciating what I have in my life…
In some ways I feel a little bit stronger now that we are legally separated. He cant string me along anymore. He can have his freedom and he can have his OW.
She can have his crap and listen to ALL of his BS !

EleGirl

Sorry you are going through such a bad time. Some people just do not have the ability to see the harm they are doing. They are truely stunted emotionally.

I assume you have told him how badly your 4 year old is handling him walking out on her. What is his response?

Why not go after him now for everything he owes you? He owes you more than his half of the investment.

If I were you I would write him a letter that is a toned down version of the above post... so that once just once you tell him very clearly the harm he has done. Nothing emotional, just an inventory of the distruction he has left behind. The hope being that just maybe he would realize that his childen need him.

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About our 4 year old, I have talked to him nicely and calmly so many times about him going in and out of his childrens lives. The way he is harming his children about his behaviour. But his response is always: " yes, I will take more care of them and yes I will help you out more" This words I've heard many times. He is a grown man and I dont really have to remind him of his responsibilities all the time. He knows this and I've tried,Elegirl...Ive tried for soooo many months.
I've written, I've talked to him calmly so many times about his behaviour. I've even let it go for so long giving him time to think and maybe just maybe he would come to his senses. But I had to draw the line at some point.. I want to keep the respect and dignity for my self.
And the only thing to do that is to let him go...not let him string me along anymore.