06-21-2012, 10:30 AM
Join Date: Jun 2012
| | Confused and Scared
I am looking here for help. I want to start by saying I have been married 12 years and known my wife for 16 years. We have always been best friends and the news she hit me with about a month and a half ago has devastated me.
I noticed she wasn't wanting sex much and she has always been into it and then the kissing slowed. I started to ask what's wrong and finally she told me that she loved me as a person but not in love with me. She said for the last year she said I wasn't showing her affection that she wanted. I just wish she would have set me down and told me before all of this. She said she tried to tell me other ways but I never saw in between the lines. She gets mad at me and said why did I see it know when the love is gone. I say my love hasn't gone I am willing to save it!
Now that I know, she has moved into the other room and cut off all physical contact. It is killing me.
The thing that I don't understand is that I took care of the kids cleaned house everything tI could to help her relieve stress from her high stress job. I watched the kids when she traveled and never complained. I was tired and I pulled away alittle but never fell out of love with her. I have always been infatuated with my wife. She just tells me that you see how i have felt for the past year, but I never cut her off completly and told her I didn't love her!
The other day she started to open up we even passionetly kissed several times then she pulled away again and said we should slow down and take it one day at a time. That's fine I am willing to wait. Then that next week she just got angry with me and went off on how she doesn't know what she wants and she is numb to feelings. I don't understand!!?? Did she feel something and got scared? Does she need security that I did change? Because I did, I see my problems. I have been seeing a couselor and so has she. She is now seeing my couselor tomorrow but she said don't draw conclusions that she wants it to work or not. I am just waiting to see but it is killing me I trying to be positive, but my mind is running wild. I though I was being a great husband! I am giving her space and trying not to be physical but that is what she wanted in the first place, now nothing. HELP!