Originally Posted by hunter411
So True, My 1st ex tried plenty of times. So much that my 10 foot pole is only about 3 feet now.
I had a month long, long distance and platonic gf come back to try and start an affair early on in my marriage. She was just p!ssed I married the girl right after her
I tried to be nice to her but she kept bugging me with lazy communication and spamming me pictures.
I have no doubt my ex wife will try to come back. After we separated she tried to reconnect with an ex before me who was an even bigger cheater. So.... yeah, I'm not looking forwards to that impending train wreck.
Just relax! You'll either see her again in court, later on with a new man on her arm, and even later 20lbs fatter and just as miserable as you are now. 90% chance she'll be dumb enough to either start an exit affair, if she's not cheating now, or rebound soon after and severely delay the healing process after divorce. It's like covering the grief over losing a parent with a long drinking binge. Sure it's fun at first but te pain is still there and the denial is only making it worse.
If you want her back then show her now how you're changing by agreeing with her and giving her the divorce she wants. Act like it's nothing to you, giving her the divorce she wants is like letting her paint the kitchen whatever color she likes. You know it won't hurt you in the least and it's just agreeing with her to shut her up. After that, let her go for a year or two while you take care of yourself. Think of the final separation like an extended fast for both of you. You're going to get the hunger pangs at first but at time passes you won't need her, you'll be a wonderful interdependent man.
Only at that point can you see her again because you want to and not because you believe you need her or any other woman in your life to feel complete. Trust me, that attitude of being nice but not chasing draws women in like flies. The real secret is that you need to work on yourself and becoming someone even you find respectable and attractive. I'm not going to make a list or drag out the details, but what I'm getting at is that you need to work on those bad habits she always complained about and you never fixed. These things take time an a lot of suffering to keep yourself away from rebound relationships but it all pays out in the end.