DST

I have been separated for 4 mnths now and I'm still confused. Married for 5 years, together 2 years before that, have 2 kids. Out of the blue one night after supper she gave me a letter saying we are through. She does not feel the same way about me and has felt that for 6 months but never said anything about it or gave me any sign of anything wrong. I mean the "I Love you" and sex up until 2 nights before. So I move out, get my own place, she starts going to different places with the kids on weekends and a month later has a "relationship" with some guy she met. Two months after that she comes to me and says she Fd up and made a mistake, will I take her back? I said ok after we get counseling together. We never got that far 3 weeks later she leaves me again and here is where I'm at, confused, Lonely and hurt. W wants to be my "friend", how do I do that when I can't respect her for what she has done TWICE!?